“Page 2. Thursday, March 6, 1997 gateway

THERE OUGHTA BE A

by Neal Ozano

On Tuesday afternoon, the Gateway spoke with Natural Law Party leader Maury Shapka.

Gateway: What are the Natural Law Party's policies on post-secondary education?

Shapka: Our policy is that education is the key to developing our most important resourse, and thatis the creativity and intelligence of each citizen. Despite the adoption of innovative programs and technology, students are not satisfied with their educations, and the only way that education can be personally relevant and fulfilling is through programs that develop conciousness so that education is balanced between what is known, a growth in the knower, and the process of knowing. What is memorized has a limited value when somebody is learning and [has] a sense of “what does it have to do with me, and it sure isn’t fun anyway’. That’s the fundamental issue regarding education that the Natural Law Party wants to get across.

Now, certainly, the next level of students’ interest is one about funding, and the Natural Law Party realizes that over the last number of years, the government has undertaken the important task of balancing the budget. But when you look at the broad picture, we realize that basically large segments of the

population are frustrated by the measures taken to achieve this goal. What the Natural Law Party stands for is preventative government. We have the ability to resolve problems before they arise, and diminish the stress involved in the system. What

“We have the ability to resolve problems before they arise, and diminish the stress

involved in the system.”

—Natural Law party leader Maury Shapka

needs to happen, even though balancing the budget is important, is areduction in stress in the system, and in the spectrum of traditional political parties, right or left, you can only spend more, and tax more, or spend less, and have people experience cuts.

We bring the light of science to politics. The Natural Law Party has policies in every area, with scientific research to back them up. I would submit to you far more details than any other candidate. There’s the example of the high school in Iowa, where transendental meditation is part of the curriculum. It consistently ranks in the top one per cent of schools in America, with a fraction of the funding of the “high- expenditure” schools.

What will the Natural Law Party do to combat youth unemployment?

The regular parties say you better get prepared for changes in careers because the times change and you're going to be out in the cold sooner or later, and you’re going to have to find another job, et cetera, et cetera. To say that is one thing, but to have people prepared for it in life and in their own individual creativity and responsibility starts deep within one’s self. In specific areas, the Natural Law Party is proposing preventative health care practices be a part, never mind a large part, of the health care industry. The Natural Law Party would implement, or offer, educational programs for training in preventative medicine. That would open up whole new industries and careers.

ATURAL) LAW

How will the Natural Law Party deal with a drop in resource revenues in terms of maintaining services?

It’s quite easy to have a more effective budget when you don’t have huge health care costs based on highly expensive technical solutions. Prevention is so much more effective than technical treatment. Solve the problem before it happens, and then you don’t have the huge expense. Regarding issues of resources, the ultimate resource still is our own human creativity. Sure, we have natural resources, and from time to time they are more or less valuable, but those market forces are still related to the laws of nature! They are not separate, or outside of ourselves. They are also related to our human assesment of

their current value.

The Natural Law Party would be interested in a far more balanced approach to the Alberta economy. To have our economy so heavily resource dependent on large, corporate agribusiness, and dependent on the large, corporate banking institutions is a failure of government. It develops dependence and not independence. With individual strength and creativity, you don’t have that problem. Again, it’s a little hard to grasp, because we’re not familiar with preventative government. but preventative measures solve the problems before they arise, so that discussion of a problem is a moot point. Arising of a problem is not an event, therefore you don’t have to deal with it, hypothetically.

On March 11 Vote John Logan for Edmonton Strathcona

Women

by Sarah E. Kelly : How do women see the world? The Alberta Through the Eyes of Women conference should provide some insight.

Spawned by the United Nations conference held every ten years called “The World Through Women’s Eyes,” the Alberta conference will explore issues such as the exclusion of women from major political affairs and their lack of powerful positions in society. Conference organiser Collette Oseen referred to the UN conference as “a marvelous experience,” and hopes that the Alberta conference will have the same effect.

“T£ women had the driver’s seat

confer at UofA

half the time, which they don’t,” asked Oseen, “how would they look at the world? How would they shape it?”

Maude Barlow, co-chair of the Action Canada Network, will be featured as a speaker at the conference. Barlow is a well known political activist, author and policy critic. “She is a woman who takes action, and our conference is offering the women of Alberta the opportunity to act,” said Joan Tarnowski, acting director for the Women’s Program, Faculty of Extension,

The conference will begin on Friday, March 7 at 7:30 p.m. at Corbett Hall on the U of A campus.

On Saturday, March 8, which is International Women’s Day, the conference will continue at Corbett Hall in the morning and Barlow will speak at the Myer Horowitz Theatre at 1:30 p.m.

Other speakers for the Alberta conference include Wendy Armstrong, Alice Hanson, Kathy Louis, Bauni McKay, Kathleen Mahoney, Anne McGrath, Jan Reimer, Janine Brodie, Melinda Smith, Zohra Hussaini, Mimi Williams, Midge Cuthill, Yvonne Chapman, Cathy Lewis, Kathryn Olson, Mary Griffith, Sheryl McInnis, Gloria Filax, Sue Brigham, Virginia Floresca-Cawagash, Donna Kerr and Joan Tarnowski.

John Logan knows the issues of advanced education first hand -- as a Staff undergraduate instructor in the Faculty of Physical Education & Recreation -- as a concerned parent of two teenage sons -- as someone who took his undergraduate degree after a career as a musician and independent businessperson, completing his Masters in Wellness & Community Development at the U of A in 1995.

As a member of Ralph Klein's team, John Logan will work hard for:

A post-secondary system that has the resources to adapt to a changing world

Top-notch teaching and research standards and a quality education product for your tuition dollars

Strong environmental standards and a representative system of parks and protected areas

Drop into our campaign headquarters at 7920-103 Street by the MacDonald's, call us at 434-8100 or

visit our website at http://www.junctionnet.com/~tori/logan.htm

——— "SS OS EES

CaPS Career Forums

The CaPS Survey of 1990 University of Alberta Graduates shows that the most successful job search method is networking.

Attend a CaPS career forum and start networking today !

Law Tuesday, Mar 11 @ 6:00 pm, Humanities L - 2 Recreation Wednesday, Mar 12, @ 5:00 pm, Ed South 170 Environmental & Conservation Sciences Wednesday, Mar 12, @ 5:30 pm, Mech Eng 2-3 Starting Your Own Business Thursday, Mar 13, @ 5:30 pm, Business 1-5 Arts & Culture Thursday, Mar 27, @ 12:00 pm, Timms Centre* *(brown bag, tickets $2.00) Tickets: $4:00 in advance. $5.00 at the door.

For more information contact Career and Placement Services

(CaPS), 2-100 S.U.B. p S

(2)

waaa University of Alberta

Student Services

More womyn

by Chris Miller

The University of Alberta may be a long way from some of the world’s most repressive governments, but that hasn’t stopped the campus chapter of Amnesty International from trying to make a difference for International Women’s Day on March 8.

Guy Davis, president of the campus chapter of Amnesty International, said an information table set up yesterday in SUB drew support and signatures from students.

“The table went well. Many people signed petitions to governments who abuse human rights of women,” he said. The petitions are aimed at ending abuses of women in Turkey and Egypt.

In addition, Amnesty International plans to lobby the Canadian government to pressure other governments into ending the abuses aimed at women, said Heather MacIntosh, the Women’s Action Network Coordinator for Amnesty International, Canada. She said Amnesty wants to focus specifically on crimes against women because “human rights abuses affect men and women in different ways,” she said.

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 3

Province demands more from teachers

Ed students upset over certification fee increase

by Tim Shoults

Alberta Education is adding a fourth “R” to Reading, ‘Riting and ‘Rithmetic: Rip-off.

Education students are upset over a 571 per cent increase in interim teacher certification fees which will take effect on April 1, 1997. The fee will increase from $35 to $200 for a two-year interim teaching certificate. The permanent certification fee will stay the same at $50.

Education Students’ Associ- ation vice-president external Jody Shpur called it a “ludicrous increase,”

According to data provided by the ESA, the increase will make Alberta’s teacher certification fees the highest in the country. The fees range between $0 and $75 in other provinces.

wits the

basically for

They have organized a petition to the government and a letter- writing campaign to Burghardt, provincial education minister Gary Mar and premier Ralph Klein.

The timing of the campaign was not intended to coincide with the provincial election campaign, but Shpur said, “Now that there is going to be an election, that gives us more leeway to put pressure on our MLAs.”

So far, Shpur estimates that over 1500 students from across Alberta have signed the petition, including 600 from the U of A.

Shpur admitted that the ESA does not expect to pressure the government to roll back the increase. “We hope to at least change the order of the fee increase. Right now it’s $200 for an interim and $50 for a permanent. What we hope to do

“It’s a very large money-maker for the province.”

—Education Students’ Association vice-president external Jody Shpur, on the 600 per cent certification fee increase

maintenance of the file,” said Alberta Education Registrar Fred Burghardt, who noted that files on teachers must be maintained for the life of an individual, even if they leave the province. “Whether a person ever teaches in Alberta or not... the jurisdiction in which you received your education” must keep up the files, said Burghardt.

Burghardt also mentioned that the increase would bring teacher certification fees in line with other professions, like nurses and pharmacists. “Yes, it’s a $200 fee and it’s a considerable increase, but it’s comparable to the initial fees charged by other Alberta professions.” He also mentioned that several other professions, like architects and pharmacists, must also pay annual certification fees which teachers do not pay.

Burghardt admitted that fees in other provinces were considerably lower than Alberta’s but mentioned that some provinces like British Columbia charge teachers a $40 annual certification fee. “That’s over $1000 over the course of their teaching career,” said Burghardt.

But Shpur attacked Burghardt’s reasons for the increase, saying that most file adjustments are covered by additional fees and are not included in the $200 fee. He also mentioned that nurses and pharmacists make considerably more than teachers when they enter the work force.

The decision was announced in December by the Teacher Certification and Development branch of Alberta Education. The timing of the announcement didn’t allow education students time to organize immediately due to final exams, said Shpur.

But the Education students are now starting to fight back. The ESA has teamed up with the SEP (the Faculté Saint-Jean’s education students association) and education students’ associations from other Alberta colleges and universities to protest the increase.

is switch those two around .., that way, that outlay of cash is more reasonable, it’s in line with other professions around the province.”

Shpur suggested that the increase was applied to the interim fee as a cash grab. He noted that less than half of the 2000 education graduates who attain interim certificates go on to apply for the permanent certificate. “It’s a very large money-maker for the province.”

But Burghardt disagreed. “It wasn’t deemed reasonable” to charge more for the permanent certificate. “What one would really be doing is charging those who have received employment in Alberta as opposed to ones who chose to work in other provinces or to pursue other careers, yet wanted certification ... that didn’t seem fair.”

97-98

Gateway is coming up Roses

by Tim Shoults

The future looks Rose-y at the University of Alberta Gateway next year.

Rose Yewchuk, one of this year’s news editors at the Gateway, was selected last week to take over from Chris Jackel as editor-in-chief of the student newspaper on May 1.

“Do you want a real quote or a fake one?” said Yewchuk when asked how she felt to be chosen as the new EiC.

vExcited;-£. puess.. Yay- Another year of no sleep. I’m looking forward to _ the challenge.”

“Do you want a real quote or a fake one?”

—1997-98 Gateway editor-in- chief Rose Yewchuk

Yewchuk plans to increase

readership, improve the content and writing in the paper, and “diversify the scope of the paper to include articles that are of interest to a large section of the university population.” _ Yewchuk has been volunteering in the news section of the paper since she began her university studies in September 1995. “I knew the Gateway existed because | picked it up in high school. I was curious about how to get involved, and I happened to meet Simon Kiss [last year’s Sports Editor] in Calgary the weekend before school started, so that’s how I knew where to come,” said Yewchuk.

Yewchuk was hired as Gateway news editor in April 1996, and has had _ the opportunity in that position to interview figures such as Alberta

D.1.E. Board Ruling

Re: Eligibility of Mimi Williams as Candidate in S.U. Elections Complainant: Shane O'Bryan Date of Ruling: March 3, 1997

Members Present:

Kimberley Goddard, chair

Carl Gill, alternate chair

Marshall Goulay, regular member Andrew Sharpe, regular member Shane Saunders, alternate member

Ruling (transcribed from a submission by the alternate chair): "When Ms. Williams tendered the nomination documents at the CRO's office, she also tendered $50.00 in cash as a deposit, rather than a cheque or money order for $50.00 as required by

Bylaw 300(9)(b)

~ 300(9)(b):Each nomination under this section shall be accompanied by Fifty ($50.00) Dollar deposit in the form of a Certified cheque or money order, dated no later than 1700 Hours on Nomination Day and Payable to the Students' Union, University of Alberta. Her Defence was that she had complied with the Bylaw by submitting $50.00 in valid currency. In fact, the bylaw does not demand valid currency, it demands a legal instrument, a certified cheque or money order. We find the Ms. Williams is in violation

of Bylaw 300(9)(b).

As Ms. Williams was not able to comply with this bylaw before 1700 hour deadline, her nomination package was insufficient and as such she is ineligible for candidacy. All other discussions related to this complaint are therefore, not relevant

issues.

The appeal is dismissed

Vote 4 in favour, 1 opposed and noted

ALeddard

Kimberley Goddard, D.1.E. Chair

Geraldine Ching

Oh my God! It’s Alannis! It’s...no, wait a minute, it’s Gateway 1997-98 editor-in-chief Rose Yewchuk. Never mind then.

premier Ralph Klein and federal finance minister Paul Martin.

“In the fine tradition of leftism among Gateway staff, Rose is really left,” said Gateway editor-in-chief Chris Jackel. Jackel was a_ formative experience on the unsuspecting Yewchuk as last year’s news editor, where he was able to corrupt her mind to suit his evil purposes.

Yewchuk has the ignominy of being the only one of this year’s editors not to publish her

score in last week’s annual Gateway Purity Test. “I didn’t want to embarass my co-workers with their pathetic scores,” she said with a sly grin.

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Page 4 Thursday, March 6, 1997 gateway

Ralphspeak

by Rose Yewchuk

Alberta Premier and Progressive Conservative leader Ralph Klein spoke to the Gateway briefly at a winter festival at the Faculté Saint-Jean last Saturday.

Gateway: If re-elected, what does your government plan to do about universities in Alberta for the next four years?

Klein: Well, certainly our policy is to sustain in a very managable way, universities, and start to focus on post-secondary education in terms of turning out students to fit the growing requirement for jobs.

One of the problems we’re facing now is that skilled and qualified individuals, highly trained individuals, there are simply not enough in the province today to fill the job requirements of the future.

“Well, certainly our policy is to sustain in a very managable way, universities.”

Now that’s a good problem to deal with, but what we’re going to have to do is work with businesses, the post-secondary institutions— not just universities, but also colleges and technical schools—to make sure that we have a workforce qualified enough to meet the demands of the future, so this is one of the priorities.

In terms of education funding, as you know it’s been the policy of this government for some time, it’s no secret to faculty or to students, that funding will be capped at 30 per cent for university students and other post-secondary students by the year 2000. That gives students enough time to plan to meet the increases. Some institutions are

almost at that limit right now but they can’t go beyond that.

We will continue to monitor and assess, relative to student financing and loans, what is fair and equitable. Right now we think that there is a very generous remission program.

Students right now can borrow—if they borrow more than $18,300 anything over and above that is remitted back to the student, so the most they can be in debt at the end of a four year program is $18,300. We think that that’s quite reasonable. For other institutions, it’s $10,000, so we think our remission program is very generous.

As you know, the federal government, in concert with the provinces, has come out with a program to make financing arrangements more generous for students so the future for post- secondary education is one of stability and sustainability.

We want to really work with the universities to make sure we are focused in meeting the opportunities for young people once they graduate.

How would you respond to concerns from students that they’re now paying more for a lower quality education because of the cutbacks?

I would say that that’s not true. We're standing here in front of an institution today that is renowned throughout Canada as being one of the best in its particular field, and that is degree courses in French in

University policies are not written in some

alien language. (sometimes they just seem that way...)

Mediators, Advisors, Jranslators

492-4689 Lower Level SUB

Klein: “We are now in a position to re-invest”

particular. All you have to dois look at what's going onat the University in terms of research, and some of the magnificent programs that are taking place there. All you’ve got to do is look at your own university, the U of A—especially the business school—and see how that school has now become world-renowned.

You know, I think that we pay too much attention to what is wrong, rather than what is right? I would think that 90 per cent of what goes on at the University of Alberta and other post-secondary institutions throughout this province is right. But it’s easy to focus on those things that are wrong, you know? We don’t often hear in the news about the airplanes that take off and land safely every day. But have one crash or have something wrong or a malfunction and it makes headlines.

There's a proven correlation between the number of people with post- secondary educations in a society and the level of economic growth in that society. Do you think that the decreased enrollment because of the higher tuition at universities in Alberta will impact the economy in the future?

No, I certainly don’t think so, because, you know, when you think of it, and I ask the students to think of it, the taxpayers of this province are paying 70 per cent of their education. That is huge! That is almost unheard of in other countries, you know, and it’s certainly in tune with what is happening in the rest of Canada, save for Quebec, which has a different kind of a funding formula. But I’m paying, and all other people who pay taxes are paying, for 70 per cent of a student’s university and I think that that is very, very generous.

Due to the time constraints of his schedule, Premier Klein was unable to answer more than three questions in person. The following questions were answered on his behalf by campaign staff and faxed to the Gateway on Wednesday night.

Gateway: Does your government support a greater corporate presence in the University community?

Building on the Alberta Advantage, a report by the Alberta Economic Development Authority, states that the private sector and government will work in partnership to attract investment, promote the Alberta Advantage and

Christine Osinchuk

expand our economy: The role of the private sector in the development of our province includes _ being responsible members of the Alberta community, reflecting Alberta’s values and contributing to a better society, working with government to identify barriers to economic growth and build effective solutions, and helping identify short and long term training and job skills solutions.

Institutions, themselves, recognize the important contribution that the business community can make to post- secondary education. We see business involved in cooperative education programs and in fact, industry has taken the lead on projects like Careers ... The Next Generation, a foundation that will provide work experience and training for young people.

@ The Gateway interview with @ Alberta premier Ralph Klein

There has been a good level of consultation between the government, institutions and students over the last four years, but it is very difficult for institutions to offer honourary degrees to politicians who are currently serving. It is more common to award these to people once they have completed their term of office and the full effect of their efforts can be seen.

Unemployment among people aged 18 to 25 is higher than any other age category in Alberta. Does your government have any specific plans to help reduce youth unemployment?

We do have the lowest youth unemployment rate in the country, but we know that we need to do more to help our young people get the skills and training they need. For young people who go on to post- secondary education we must ensure that we have a high-quality learning system and a wide variety of learning opportunities available to help them develop the employability skills they need.

For those who do not go on to post-secondary education, we are mounting a Youth Connections program which will give young

“Increases in tuition cannot be a substitute for realizing operational efficiencies or for becoming more effective in delivering quality learning opportunities.”

Some criticisms of cutbacks to post- secondary education have mentioned that reduced operating grants are restricting the ability of Alberta universities to attract higher-quality professors, researchers, and students. How do you respond to these criticisms?

After having made the necessary reductions to get our spending under control and ensure a sustainable future for our province, we are now ina position to reinvest. We recognize the importance of scholarship and research in creating new knowledge and the fact that an institution is only as good as its professors, researchers, and students.

Over the next three years, more than $270 million will be reinvested to maintain the quality of our institutions. For example, over $105 million will be available for facility renewal and upgrading and $15 million’ will also be available to modernize and update equipment. These funds will improve the facilities available to professors, researchers and students and will enhance the quality of learning in our institutions.

. From 1996 to 1999, $9 million in the Research Excellence envelope will be available to universities to provide new equipment and lab renovations to help attract strong research faculty.

Last year, the University of Alberta Senate offered you an honourary degree which you declined in the face of public opposition led by students. Last November, a proposal by NAIT to offer you a similar honourary degree was withdrawn after student representatives voted by a large margin to oppose the offer. Do you feel that those incidents indicate that while you are popular among university administrators, you lack credibility with students in post- secondary institutions?

people the chance to develop skills for jobs with opportunities for advancement and progression. Weare also developing a single site on the Internet where learners will be able to get information about the adult learning sector including, a database of over 500 occupational profiles, links to institutions within the province, information onn financial assistance and an electronic application service that will allow learners to apply to multiple institutions with a common set of information.

This week, the U of A’s Board of Governors is expected to increase tuition by the maximum allowable amount (9.79 per cent, or about $230 for a full courseload). This will be the seventh consecutive year that tuition has increased by the maximum amount. Do you support the increase?

The tuition fee policy that has been set by the government recognizes that students should pay a greater portion of the costs of their education in relation to the benefits they receive from it as education is not an expense but an investment. This policy also recognizes that financial need should not be a barrier to learning.

After a review of the issue of tuition fees, including consultations with students, it was determined that revenue from tuition at public institutions could rise to 30 per cent of net operating expenditures by the year 2000...

Institutions are not required to raise tuition to the 30 per cent level or to increase tuition every year, these are only the guidelines that have been set if they choose to do so. Increases in tuition cannot be a substitute for realizing operational efficiencies or for becoming more effective in delivering quality learning opportunities.

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 5

Operation diaper drop on for BoG meeting on Friday

Daycare society to protest to Board despite new home for Michener Park

by Tim Shoults

The U of A’s Board of Governors will have more than a tuition increase on the table when they meet on Friday morning.

The organizers of the Diapers on Campus campaign will be delivering a petition and over 200 signed diapers to the Board

at its regular meeting on March 7 in University Hall.

The diapers and petition are from a campaign which was started at the end of January by concerned parents of the Michener Park Education Society who were trying to pressure the University to find a new home for the MPES daycare before it

Compu-CaPS Keeps you out of Macdonald’s

by Mark N. Barker

Looking for a job sucks. Well, get ready for a wave of that warm fuzzy feeling, be- cause CaPS has recently taken on a new project.

Copilot is a tool for the ac- tive job seeker. It is a computer operated system which focuses on the skills and aptitudes of the test subject as they apply to the abilities demonstrated in the job market.

Working for hours on resumes and cover letters com- bined with the leg work and re- search, reading classifieds, scouring the city for “help wanted” signs, and madly searching for the jobs that some companies delight in not ad- vertising at all, itis alla stress- ful and very boring time for unemployed hopefuls.

Do you use all the job search resources at hand? Do you need to work on»your in- terview skills? Are you just not ready for work? Copilot can tell you.

Based on interviews with approximately 2000 students, Copilot covers four major ar- eas: career plan relevance, how much will your current educa- tion, activities, and job/pro- spective job aid you in your ultimate career goals; quality of communication, resumes, cover letters, and interview skills; initiative in the job search; and a general look at any other problems an indi- vidual might have affecting their job searching skills.

This is different from the current skills gage, Career Be- lief. “Career Belief measures

beliefs that people hold which may help or hinder them when looking for a job,”said Sean Baker, the Copilot project head.

“Copilot shows more spe- cific skills rather than belief and cognitive processes.”

This new project is a bit of a novelty in CaPS because it is a completely computer-based system. Students fill out a mul- tiple choice dot sheet and re- turn it to CaPS. Completely confidential, answers on a Scale of one to five are fed into a computer which gives a result sheet can be picked up within a few days.

Assistance with under- standing the data is provided in SUB, room 4-02 by Baker. “I explain each area... 1 wouldn’t say it is as specific asa coun- sellor as [the sessions are] in a group enviroment.”

Baker is a student studying for his Masters degree and is using the Copilot project in his thesis, “we’re primarily re- searching if the program is ef- fective with university stu- dents,” said Baker.

Originating from France, Co- pilot comes highly recom- mended from from Human Re- sources and Development Canada. George Fitzgerald, Bak- er’s supervisor, is affiliated with Psychometrix, the people behind Copilot. Baker originally learned of and became interested in the project through Psychometrix. Copilot is looking towards a highly marketed system, com- plete with a computer each indi- vidual can personally use and receive their report from, for even more confidentiality.

Sign language for PSE

SU needs volunteers and sign recipients for info campaign

by Tim Shoults

Students get to vote twice in three days next week, with provincial elections on March 11 and Students’ Union elections on March 12 and 13.

Between the two elections, the volunteer pool at the SU is getting sparse, and they need your help getting the education message out in the public eye during the last few days of the provincial campaign.

The provincial group Students and Faculty for Education (SaFE) has

was evicted from Galbraith House at Michener Park on April 30, 1997.

The University found a new location in early February, and the daycare will move to the Aberhart Centre on campus near the Cross Cancer Institute at the end of April.

However, the campaign

organizers are planning to go ahead with the protest to the Board in spite of the new space. “The University still has no policy to protect [the daycare] from being evicted next year, and that’s unacceptable,” said Shannon Sampert, a Political Science student who helped organize the diaper campaign.

While the temporary problem has been solved, Sampert says the group is looking for the Board to commit to a comprehensive daycare policy at the U of A. “This University has always been reactive to the problems of child care on the campus and every five years it reacts rather than acts to deal with the issue,” said Sampert.

Rye

TRACKER, VERY SMART Ce

produced 15,000 lawn signs with the label “I support Post-Secondary Education” and has provided stakes for students and faculty to place the

signs on their lawns. The SU is also looking for students to attend candidates’ forums around

the city to make sure post-secondary education is on the agenda. Anyone

= GRADUATE PROGRAM

There’s no feeling quite like your first set of wheels. S unt if it’s the 4-wheel drive Tracker available only at your Chevrolet Geo Oldsmobile Dealer.

interested in helping out with the information campaign or willing to put i. up a lawn sign can go to the SU executive offices in room 2-900 SUB.

THE PURCHASE OR LEASE OF A NEW GM VEHICLE

Page 6 Thursday, March 6, 1997 gateway

Slated for greatness Presidential

Is it better to go it alone or run with a tag team in the SU election?

by Celina Connolly

In this year’s SU elections, there are more candidates running independently than on slates. Do they know something slate candidates don’t? Why would students decide to run as a group? Does it really make a difference?

One of the main advantages to running independently has to do with decision making when it comes to posters or policy. “I don’t have to defer on decisions ... what want pretty much goes,” explained independent vp external candidate Nicole Stogrin.

Another advantage is that you are the only one trying to get elected. “When you are ona slate, you have to bring the others on your slate into the spotlight,” pointed out Marcie Brulotte, independent Board of Governors candidate. This way, you can use your full time to talk about the issues instead of spending your last twenty seconds going over who you are running with, she said.

Presidential candidate Stephen Curran believes it is better to run independently. “You can spend more time convincing people that you are the right candidate for the job.” He also sees this as partly strategic: “I didn’t want to be ona big slate going up against a lot of individuals.

“] just feel that I am strongest on my own this year.” eee

But life is not all sunshihe and flowers for independents. Theré‘are some big disadvantages. “I think the slate has a bit of an advantage when it comes to a volunteer base. They can pool resources,” explained Stogrin. THis can include ‘money, posters and exposure. Brulotte agreed that slates provide more volunteer support: “It takes time

) Sink the 8-

The Empty

Pocket Lower Level SUB

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|Contact Maggie Ip 492-9468)

and energy to find people.”

Curran pointed out that the slates get more exposure. “There is just me going into as many classes as I can. [A slate] has more people speaking on your behalf [and] more money.”

“I don’t have to defer on decisions ... what I want pretty much goes.”

—VP external candidate Nicole Stogrin explaining why she chose to run as an independent

There is one advantage that experienced candidates find invaluable—the fact that they are not alone. As Dave Watt, vp external candidate and member of the Dave & Dave slate, explained, “There is someone else campaigning and they can sort of empathize with it.”

“ Yi h ot =

like these people ... I know I can work with them.”

This is Hassam’s third election and she has run successfully as an independent and as part of a large slate. Which is better? “The best campaigns are independents, a 2 person slate or a 4 person slate ... anything else is awkward.”

Students concerned about how slates could divide the Students’ Union after elections need not

worry. Most candidates agree that,

once the election is over, everyone is focused on the job. As Harrison explained, “I would definitely put aside any differences.”

“I think student issues come first,” said Watt. “Teamwork on the executive is very important.”

But Curran believes that this is not always the case. “I have seen [executive councils] in the past

break down on slate lines ... you are

cheating students and the SU,” he said. “There is a potential for politics to overwhelm the executive.”

But, the real question is, does it really make a difference? Yes and 0. Insome years, slates formed the

ajority on council. In other years, including last year, there was a mix of independents and only one candidate from each slate. In the 1996 SU election, two out of the five successful candidates came from two different slates,

‘Dave Losey from the Losey/

Danchuk slate and Vlad Gomez

the’ froni the START slate. The other

are Tuning With is the

best person for the job,” said Narmin Hassam, BoG candidate for the Hassam/Stoneberg slate.

“KA slate is only as strong as its weakest member,” explained

Harrison. Both respect and experience are important. Plus, “I

ball into...

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three executives all independents.

1995 saw the Maximum Impact slate win three of six positions. The slate of Watts and Ahmad won the two positions they ran for, and the Kasawski and Bishop slate won one position. No independents won.

In 1994, the ADVANTAGE slate

were

won 3 out six positions. There were

two independents and one candidate from the Poston and Fraser slate. And for those wishing a reality check in the middle of SU election fever, Harrison has this reminder. “You have to put how important Students’ Union elections really are into perspective. I have respect for the six million dollar institution ...

but I’m still a student and part of

that is having fun.”

posturing

Candidates talk policy at forum

by Lauren Podlubny

Presidential candidates in the upcoming SU election had to think fast on their feet Wednesday afternoon in SUB.

Debate Club members Grant Yiu and Aly Kanji acted as moderators and posed questions ranging from strategy for securing funding from the government to the current situation involving campus radio station CJSR.

“Can’t we tone it down a bit?”

—Presidential candidate James McLeod commenting on an excess of SU services

Chief returning officer Kyle Kasawski said the goal of the forum was to “raise exposure for the election on campus and challenge the presidential candidates to answer serious questions in a public setting.”

With funding for post- secondary institutions as a major public issue, the four candidates all expressed concern for what needs to be done.

James McLeod, the dark horse of the race with no prior SU experience, said that there is no sense of community on campus and that because students need to get more for their money, the SU needs to budget more effectively.

Dave Losey, this year’s vp finance, expressed the opinion that students need to stand up for change and lobby the government. Losey even suggested the possibility of a march, explaining that because “ we are 28,000 students strong” are a force to be reckoned with.

Hoops Harrison, this year’s vp external, said that the issues of funding and student loans need to be examined.

Stephen Curran, the current undergraduate representative on

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the Board of Governors, feels that students should be actively lobbying all levels of government and fostering a relationship with the minister of advanced education.

When presented with the issue of increasing student involvement and participation among the student body, the presidential hopefuls voiced a variety of opinions. Losey feels that the University needs to have more student clubs and should be encouraging people to get involved.

Harrison stressed a need for an increase in the number of undergraduate representatives on the Board of Governors and wants to pursue a national lobby campaign of the _ federal government.

Curran expressed a desire to bridge the gap between the SU and students, citing cross-campus involvement and open accountability of the executive as possible solutions.

McLeod said that the students of the U of A aren’t really proud of themselves and that we need more of a voice.

Campus radio station CJSR has been a major issue lately, particularly because of the contract disputes with the SU over CJSR funding. While all of the candidates agree that CJSR provides a valuable function to our campus, Harrison had a unique suggestion.

Using the example of the campus television station at the University of Western. Ontario, Harrison wants to move the U of A campus ahead in the field of media technology and possibly introduce a television station here on our campus.

Candidates have a wide array of thoughts on the role of the SU as it affects students

Losey says that the SU exists for all students and that the U of A needs to be producing well trained students with well rounded views.

Lobbying the Board of Governors is a matter of great concern for Harrison. He feels that the SU needs to pressure the BoG to change the policy of mandatory tuition increases.

Curran stressed that the SU is here to serve students, but that it needs to re-focus its ideas. He wants to work on two-way communication between the student body and the SU.

McLeod has a completely different outlook. He feels that the university should be responsible, but that services are a little out of control. Citing Safewalk as an example, McLeod asked, “Can’t we tone it down a bit?”

Kasawski was pleased with the student turnout for the forum and considered it a success. “The intensity on stage was great; the candidates are obviously serious, and it was a great success.”

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 7

| want your money

VP finance candidates want to try their hand at balancing budgets

cl peg

Jennifer Park

MY KINGDOM for an inch of bare wall! Election insanity abounds in Tory Atrium.

The Ivory tower race

TWO CANDIDATES SQUARE OFF FOR SU VP ACADEMIC

by Neal Ozano This year, two mortals will battle to the death in the race for vp academic. The two candidates— Sheamus Murphy, a 2nd year political science major and current Arts Students’ Association president and Andrea Crawford, a 4th year pharmacy student and vp external of the Pharmacy Students’ Association—have big plans forthe position. Both candidates have defini ideas about the academic issues campus. ‘\ “There’s been some talk ov the last number of years abo

establishing an instructional

development centre, and I thin would be a positive approac improving the quality-of teach} The engineers are the only faculty: on campus that have mandatory teaching classes. I think that the entire university should follow the innovation of the engineers,” said Crawford.

Murphy agrees, but thinks that it could be done differently. “We've got over 500 new professors coming to the university in the next 5 years, and I think it’s time that we made teaching a priority. To become a professor, you don’t have to be a teacher. I think that needs to change,” said Murphy. He proposes standardized teaching classes for all professors. Crawford disagrees. She would like to see a courses-for- credit system set up for professors, “because there’s no one course that’s going to help [all] professors.”

“Just because you learned to teach 20 years ago doesn’t mean that you’re current,” she added.

Crawford would like to see the curriculum reviewed in some faculties, especially arts and science. “Some of those curricula haven't been looked at in 20 years. Who decided what courses you had to take to get a B.Sc., and how long ago was that decided?” She believes reviews need to be set up to evaluate curriculums based on student satisfaction after graduation, job market demand, job market applicability, and competitiveness of the University.

The two candidates agree that the University is losing ground on computing issues and needs a plan.

~ Crawford has several proposals.

“The University needs to create

a technology integration plan, and

I don’t mean a wish list. I mean a long term strategy.” She believes that students should be well informed about campus labs before they get to university.

“They should know that if they're going to need to write 10 papers a year, they should be aware that that’s h ‘re going

general purpose lab demand. “ It’s a sad fact that we don’t have the money to keep all students happy with wonderful computer access, but we have to prioritize,” said Crawford.

Murphy agrees that technology needs to be available to the students who need it. “The University should use its collective purchasing power, 25,000 students, to provide good deals on new computers and software. You should be able to download from a network on an on- site license, or just be able to buy wholesale so that it’s the best deal

you can get anywhere. Once that’s happening, and the campus is wired, then the curriculum can start to match the available technology that’s there on a wide scale, and we're prepared.”

Murphy proposes that a close association might be forged with a computer company to cut a deal for udents. “I don’t believe in mnputers] being mandatory, but ieve in it being something that ompanies being a student. If you ‘t afford it, then it has got to be ilable to you in a lab.”

If elected, Murphy will work for re bursaries to get high- achieving students into the niversity.

“If they, increase our tuition

Rech : again, I think it’s only fair that we -little hope of keeping, - with....-

ask for some funding to provide for needs based bursaries.”

He cited several campus charities that have seen increased demand placed on them since tuition began its upward spiral. “Students are getting poorer and poorer. and being pushed over the edge,” said Murphy. “I believe that education shouldn’t be granted on financial status,”

Crawford has similar sentiments on bursaries. “It’s the University’s job to get outstanding students in here. It’s the government’s job, theoretically, to make it accessible,” said Crawford.

by Raechel Carpenter

Three student candidates want you to write them a check for $6 million. The candidates for SU vp finance need to prove that they can handle your money intelligently and responsibly.

Garth Bishop is a fourth year business student. He has held several executive positions on the Business Students’ Association. Bishop would like to make the businesses profitable this is the onl eliminate the cu

Bishop feel resources for businesses to customers and w order to increase: clientele attrac “There js fio re Son businesses thatiaxe same niche, such as RA Power Plant at this time.”

“T want to look at the SU dedicated fees and make sure they are still priorities for students,” said Bishop, noting that the process was started by the current executive but was not completely finished.

Bishop wants to use the SU buying power to bring businesses that students want to the University. He sees potential for corporations like Ticketmaster on campus: “{things] that students would really be able to use, and it [would] be good for the SU to bring in some more diverse businesses.”

John Seo is a fourth year business student who has worked in a bank. He plans to continue the deficit reducing program started by previous executives. According to Seo, the headway this year’s executive has made in reducing the deficit is the result of cuts, either to the operation of the SU or to the SU services.

He’d like to move in a different direction and focus on increasing revenues from SU businesses. “The reason these businesses are here is they are mandated to fund services so that student groups don’t have to.” While Seo acknowleged that some of the SU businesses are doing

ioaeiel Age

quite well, such as the Print Centre and SubTitles, other businesses have been decreasing in profitabilty.

Seo said that the hundred dollars for club office space is a little excessive. He could not promise to abolish the fee altogether, but feels it could be reworked and possibly reduced.

According to Seo, if certain businesses continue to grow as they , he is sure the SU can urdget next year. “If we same, then we

about 150,000 ear [to eliminate

is a fourth year udent. She has f the Panhellenic

‘Or men's s fraternities) styGa ndiwasi the director tnformations ervices: for 1996-

I. -According té Stoneberg, the SU _ has recently taken on two new

projects: course packs and the Power Plant. “I think that we can make a go of both of those things, but there are a still a lot of issues that need to be dealt with,” she said.

Stoneberg feels that the SU businesses need to work on customer services. “If you don’t have good customer service, why would you go back ... if we have staff members that are turning people away, them let’s do something about it.”

According to Stoneberg, the SU has a history of creating businesses for which there is no market and ends up trying to create a market for them. She does not see the need for the SU to develop any new projects in the immediate future. “I think we need to work with the businesses that we have. We should not expand our resources beyond their limits.”

Stoneberg does not feel that any further cuts to SU services are necessary. “How can we justify putting the enormous amount of stress on those people to cut back on something that is already running efficently?” Stoneberg does not feel that the deficit can be eliminated this year, but that the SU needs a long term plan.

_ Coming Tuesday: The presidential and vp external races, the election forums, the Health Plan referendum, and ONEcard voting information.

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SUB

No Health

Notice to the Students’ Union: If this Health Care Referendum is successful, I will not be paying the required $90. I will be opting out, but I will not show you any documents proving that I am covered by another plan. All you need to know is that Ilive in Canada, am a Canadian citizen and am therefore covered by the Canada Health Plan. No other documentation will be re- quired on my part, however there are some questions I have regarding your organiza- tion, the so called Students’ Union: Where does the SU get the legislative authority to implement and enforce any plan they dream up? I would like to see the actual documents, if such documents exist. Who is student government respon- sible to? Is there some higher power they

answer to? Where does the authority they seem to wield so boldly come from? Is there avenues available to chal- lenge this authority? What makes any referendum the SU holds binding? And if it is binding, by who's authority? Are there documents that make the SU an incorporated society ora legal entity of some sort? If so, let’s see the docu- ments. Are there any lawyers or aspir- ing lawyers out there who can answer these questions? If so reply to jfaraday@-gpu.srv.ualberta.ca.

To any SU execs out there,(and any wannabes), YOU ARE NOT THE GOV- ERNMENT! The University of Alberta is not your little fiefdom that you can rule unchecked. We have plenty of gov- ernment in Canada as it is. Stick to or- ganizing sock hops and hot dog days and keep your little brown noses out

of my business and my wallet.

One other note to the SU. Please explain the logic that allows you to complain about rising tui- tion costs (approx. $25 per course), only to turn around and ding the students for $90. During your next meeting get a dictionary and look up hypocritical!(cont’d on p.9)

SEE

PAGE...

Published Since November 21, 1910

Readership 30,000 Jacks Volume 86 Issue 39

FAX Number 492-4643 Mailing Address Room 2900

Edmonton, AB, T6G 2J7 email Address gateway@pybus.su.ualberta.ca

Advertising 492-4241, Room 2900 SUB Main Office 492-5168, Room 0-10 SUB

In the Box-in-Chief Chris Jackel 492-5168 Managing and Jill Jill Dixon 492-5178

News O’ Lantern Rose Yewchuk 492-7308 News the Ripper Tim Shoults 492-1483

Entertainment Palance Scott Sharplin 492-7052

Sports Shit Wade Tymchak 492-5068

Photo of-all-trades Jaroslaw Malanowski 492-1482

Production Off Christine Osinchuk 492-3423 Circulation Daniels Susan Sava 492-5068

eS AKC W A YyYsmoO_

Contributors Rudi Gunther, Karen Liebel,

Joel Currie, Rob Morin, Mark N. Barker, Jim Jeong, Jennifer Park, Jeevan Thomas, J.J.J., Sarah J. Ciurysek, David.Chan.J, Bubba the Good One, Sarah E. Kelly, Nathaniel Fairbairn, Stella Varvis, Adam Thrasher, Robert Antoniuk , Diego Ibarra, Lee Conrad, Pete Pachal, Denise Fernandes, Brandice Shostak, Jon Jarvis, Neal “Naturally Monkey Boy” Ozano, Raechel Carpenter, Lauren Podlubny, Celina Connolly, Mark N. Barker, Sarah

Students’ Union Building, U of A,

home page http://www.su.ualberta.ca/gateway/

"E for Cock” Kelly, Chris Miller Advertising of Hearts Sandra Horrigan 492-4241

All materials appearing in The Gateway are copyright their creators and may not be used without their written permission. The University of Alberta Students’ Union reserves the right of ownership of all photos taken by the photo editor for 18 months after the material is published. Contents of The Gateway are the responsibility of the Editor-in-Chief. All grievances should be submitted in writing to either the Editor-in-Chief, Room 0-10 SUB, or the Students' Union Vice-President Student Life, Room 2900 SUB. All opinions signed by the writer do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gateway.

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997

Page 9

I urge students to vote NO in the upcoming referendum. We do not need more health care. It’s as simple as that. This plan is com- pletely unnecessary.

James Faraday Mining Engineering (3rd)

PS. “Your true dull minds are generally preferred for public em- ploy, and especially promoted to city honours; your keen intellects, like razors, being considered too sharp for common service.” Wash- ington Irving (1783-1859)

Billy boy

Bill Marsh’s thinly veiled attack on Geers in the March Gateway (“A lot of student groups are getting Dinwoodie a little too often...”) was an idiotic statement on many lev- els.

The Engineering Students’ So- ciety (ESS) uses Dinwoodie regu- larly. Complaining about its rental of Dinwoodie is like complaining about how much the Oilers use the Coliseum. If the ESS were limited in its use of Dinwoodie, it would be tempted to move all of its events off campus, costing the Students’ Un- ion thousands of dollars.

Local charities also benefit from the ESS/Dinwoodie relationship. Remember Santa Stomp? It raised $4700 for local charities while bring- ing Captain Tractor to the students of U of A for just $8 a ticket.

Bill Marsh also fails to realize that many ESS/Dinwoodie events occur at times when no other stu- dent groups want to use Dinwoodie. The Engineering Week “Battle of the Bands” filled Dinwoodie oma Tuesday afternoon. For some reason | doubt that there was a long list of other clubs dying to use Dinwoodie at that time. The same holds true for the pre-Engg Week Beer Gardens in Dinwoodie which also happened during the afternoon. Very seldom are other clubs trying to book Dinwoodie then.

If turning Dinwoodie into a money-losing enterprise is your dream, then vote for Bill Marsh. If you want it to make money while hosting charity events and fun so- cial activities, then vote for anyone else.

Steve Weninger Civil Engineering

KUDOS, Julio

I would like to congratulate Julio Picheca, manager of the Uni- versity Bookstore, for the initia- tives he has taken to better serve student interests. Since assuming responsibility in early January, Julio has implemented several radical changes to enhance the quality of service in the Bookstore. Most importantly, however, Julio has taken the time to meet with representatives from the Students’ Union and with countless students, and has acted upon our concerns and suggestions.

Since the academic survey of 1995 identified the price of text- books as a major source of frustra- tion for students, the Students’ Union has been lobbying for a re- duction in text prices. Julio has heard these concerns, has listened to our suggestions, and is acting on them. Effective May 1, 1997, the

price of textbooks will be reduced by 5 per cent across the board. This will save students an aggregate total of approximately $400,000 next year alone.

This has been one of the most significant and pressing issues that the Students’ Union has dealt with over the last two years. Thank you, Julio, for listening to students and for taking action to ease the finan- cial burden placed on us.

Garett Poston SU President

Send letters. 0-10 SUB. Hurry.

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Page 10 Thursday, March 6, 1997 gateway

Opinion

Sarah E. Kelly

Let’s talk about dropouts for a minute. I’m fairly sure that none will be reading this, so I don’t re- ally have to worry about offending anyone.

It all started early one evening when I was bored and sifting through my scant collection of CDs. Lo, what should I come across but Step by Step by New Kids on the Block. Blame me not: I am young, and I was still younger then. Nostalgia time. I threw it into my stereo and blasted it. I read the liner notes with interest. Then it was halfway through the second track and I decided diplomati- cally that it sucked and put on the Rentals. Yeah, I thought. I’m definitely cool now.

Then there was no Diet Coke anywhere in the house so I got all the packets of In- stant Breakfast that I could find and put them in the blender with all the milk I could find and made a pitcher of sludge and drankit all. Sorry.

I’m not any more enthusiastic about academia than your average gnat. I thought I was a sophisticate when I realised that I had learned the meaning of the word “ pharma- ceutical” before any of my peers had. I’m also not any more intelli- gent than most of my friends were in high school. It’s not my fault that I was raised on Leonard Cohen and

Dylan Thomas; it was a fluke and it doesn’t really make me that dif- ferent. I still became a prepubescent New Kids fan, didn’t I?

The thing is that it didn’t take much for me to graduate from high school and get here. I floated through my grade school years and rarely gave a second thought to my

studies. I wound up with a respect- able average and now I’m wind- ing my way toward the Ultimate Nothingness of a BA in English. It’s not that hard.

Meditate for a moment, if you will, on why you stayed in school. There are many who simply quit going, for many reasons: it’s futile, the teachers/ professors are fas- cists, you think you’re dumb, you have no friends. Sure. I’ve heard it. I dated a dropout. And I thought a few times, before I graduated from high school (and doubtless will throughout my career in univer-

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sity), about these things. I didn’t like a lot of my teachers, or my friends. I had doubts about my in- tellectual prowess, and I didn’t think that staying in school would make me any smarter than I al- ready was. But when it came down to the punch, I just wasn’t moti- vated enough to drop out.

The reason that schooling ulti- mately becomes valuable doesn’t really have any- thing to do with diplomas or degrees. Certainly, with one of those, you can pump gas or card kids at your local 7-Eleven, but otherwise, who cares? The important thing about integrating yourself in some sort of academic atmosphere is the devel- opment of social culture. The dropouts whol know simply don’t know how to deal with people. After dropping out, they sit on couches in their basements. Yay.

How do New Kids on the Block figure into this? They’re dropouts. Just about all of them. Fuck being tutored on the road; it won't work. These people are so- cial aliens. What do you think they’re doing now? Aside from lighting hotels on fire? They’re sit- ting on couches in their basements. Poor kids. All my mother could say when she found out that they weren't cool anymore was, “I just hope they invested well.” Yeah, me too.

The best thing about being hu- man is social integration. Being with people: loving them, hating them, screwing them, talking to them, and hearing them. Why sac- rifice that? If you feel the urge to drop out out of school, come down to the Gateway and talk to the peo- ple there for a while. There’s a couch, and it’s ina basement. You'll have the experience, and then you'll get the fuck out of there fast. Basements make people strange.

cAudret ay LYFE HOKSER

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Scott Sharplin

“I'ma loser, baby, so why don’t you kill me?”

—Beck

Our society thrives on dialec- tics. Everything is black and white, yin and yang...liberal and conserva- tive, pro-choice and pro-life, Coke and Pepsi...but the biggest dialec- tic of all rests on the results of the rat race. Come on, admit the sorry truth: are you a Winner or a Loser? Don’t hesitate, or you'll forfeit! Ah, you think you're a Winner, eh? Are you willing to prove it...?

I was called a lot of things when I was in junior high. “Loser” was by no-means the worst, but it had a strange distinction to it, I remember the first time some big (for 12) jock- type called me a loser. I didn’t re- ally understand what he meant— what exactly had I lost? The popu- larity contest, I guess; because, af- ter all, this guy was approaching critical mass of cool. If anybody had the authority to designate winners and losers, I supposed, it had to be him.

Oh, by the way, the last I heard of this particular coolmeister, he was serving time ina minimum security prison outside of Calgary. I don’t think he finished high school. Still a winner?

Here’s another scenario. A year and a half ago, I’m stopped ina hall- way of the Humanities building by a classmate, who also happens to be the boyfriend of one of my friends. He knows I’m going to meet her for coffee, and he apparently feels a lit- tle threatened by this, so he turns the threat around on me. “My life is hanging by a thread,” he appeals passionately, “and Ill be damned if I’m going to let a loser like you be the straw that breaks my back.” Okay, mixed metaphors aside, the message seems clear. The body lan- guage backs it up. Mess with me and you'll get hurt. The contest be- tween us will be a physical one, and

LOSER. +¢ WINNER?

since you're the loser, I’ll be the win- ner. That simple.

Well, sure enough, if we had chosen to engage in fisticuffs that afternoon, I probably would have got my ass kicked. But as far as the exchange itself was concerned, who was the real loser? Was it me, the guy who didn’t want to get his nose broken over a stupid misunder- standing? Or was it Myr. Testosterone, the guy who was threatening me with physical vio- lence—in the Humanities building (O the irony)—because I was having coffee with his girlfriend? Are these the actions of a winner?

Let me say clearly at this point, if you haven’t figured it out yet, that Irefuse to accept the whole winner/ loser dialectic. It’s pointless and immature. Let me also point out that it is this contrast which virtually runs our culture. Capitalism is a cycle of confrontations, of divisions between haves and have-nots, of “he who has the most toys when he dies wins” philosophies. Wins what? Who knows? The important thing is to be a Winner—in business, in sports, in university, in fashion and beauty and wit...and out by the bike racks with Mr. Testosterone. We compete without even thinking about it, without any motivation but the satisfaction of rubbing some- body else’s face in the dirt.

I’ve been called a loser more times than I can count, but until somebody can point to what, ex- actly, I’ve lost, I won’t accept the la- bel. On the other hand, I can safely say that people who use the termi- nology to begin with—people who see the world as safely, distinctly divided into Losers and Winners, and who compete every day of their lives—have lost touch with a pretty fundamental aspect of human na- ture. Whether or not that makes them Losers, we’ll have to let them decide for themselves.

WRITE OPinion. 0-10 SUB.

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gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 11

: Many women: fantasize about being raped.

I realize that this is a pretty inflammatory statement, but be- | fore you start screaming gibber-

ish at the paper and frothing at

the mouth, please allow me to elaborate. You will Pe ee that you did.

‘Ibis true, many women fan- tasize about being raped. itis.

also true that many men fanta-

isize about committing rape. And, seeing as how rape is an _ act of control and power having

very little to do with sex at all, women and men also fantasize

his pirate hip (sorry, run-on sentences are mandatory.

a Fairbairn|

Nathz

just a little bit less abound Having at least. advanced |

the argument that women and

men fantasize about rape (you

ean continue to deny it if you.

wish, it makes no difference to me) it is now my duty to disap- point all of the actual rapists out

: ‘there, who are, no doubt, ex- _pecting to find some justifica-

tion for their actions within this. article. Sorry fellas, but a fan-

_tasy of rape is just that——a fan- _tasy. And fantasy is one hell of a long: ways away from reality.

We engage in these fantasies

“in literature and in our own —rainds because those are safe fo

the prospect of being aped is, per-

. The at ility to exercise that

_control in our imagination

1€ 0 what? It doesn’t make us any

rvis

Stella Va

Let’s get one thing perfectly straight right at the beginning: I don’t like Ralph. Not as a person, not as a politician, not as a premier. Notat all. The mere sight of his jolly, jovial, and complacent figure clothed in a blue denim shirt while smiling benignly down upon me from a billboard is enough to drive me screaming into the dark and Tory night. I know what he’s done to this province. I know what he still wants to do. I know that it needs to be stopped.

The slogan “He kept his word—he'll do it again” sounds more like a veiled threat than a campaign promise. Have we be- come so jaded in the political process that it has become enough for us to consider the “what” and not the “how?” Have we become so surprised at the very thought that a politician would do what he said, that we don’t care just how he managed to keep the promise? Is it now just a matter of which guy will screw us the least?

Well, if that’s the case, then we gave Ralph access to our collective ass four years ago, and now for this election, we're begging him to fuck us face-to-face. And he’s ready and willing to do it. This is the arrogance of a man who once said of the city of Edmonton “it may not be the end of the world, but you can definitely see it from there.” After 25 years of Tory rule, the government of Al- berta has become a conservative political dynasty where the names

THE RALPH STOPS HERE

may change, but the faces never do. It is an unhealthy democracy, if we can still call it that, that allows this type of rule to remain uninter- rupted. The only thing more dis- heartening that this fact is the gen- eral political apathy that is indica- tive of the people of this province. Any attempts to discredit this government and reveal its hypoc- risy have been quickly quelled by

..if the Journal were to print on tomorrow’s front page the headline

“Ralph Klein admits to baby-

eating,” he would still manage to pull off a landslide victory come

Tuesday night.

those in power. The entire system is partisan, the entire system is Tory, and the only way to change the sys- tem is to change the governing party. Even the media attempts to expose the Multi-Corp fiasco have proved fruitless: if the Journal were to print on tomorrow’s front page the headline “Ralph Klein admits to baby-eating,” he would still manage to pull off a landslide victory come Tuesday night.

Perhaps the most talked-about attack on the Ralph Klein govern- ment comes from Kevin Taft, the author of the recently published book Shredding the Public Interest. In it, he cites some rather frightening statistics: for example, although Al-

jess human: it just makes us a little more honest.

_ .

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berta is the richest province in the country, the government in 1996 spent well under 8 per cent of GDP of Alberta on health care, which is the lowest rate in Canada—the United States, on the other hand, spent about 14 per cent.

I don’t believe in two-tiered health care. I don’t believe that edu- cation should be a luxury. I don’t believe that seniors are expendable citizens. I don’t believe that stu- dent loans should start in kin- dergarten. I don’t believe that books should be balanced on the backs of gambling addicts. I don’t believe that needless deaths should be considered “glitches” in a health care sys- tem.

Ibelieve in a capitalism with a human face. I believe in a prov- ince that takes care of its poor and its sick and its old, regardless of income bracket. I believe in a edu- cation system that’s seen as a pub- lic investment, not as a corporate training ground.

If being on Ralph’s Team means being a victim of politically-induced amnesia and politically-recon- structed history, then] guess I’m not much of a team player.

ROGM AT THE TOP

Thursday 6th GUBA'S ROCK & ROLL DANCE PARTY

Saturday 8th Saturday Night Live

Sky Pilot & Mark Bergiund Band

Momday 10th Purple Haze Tuesday Tith Tennessee _Tuesday

Page 12. Thursday, March 6, 1997 gateway

ealure

Spir ituality Alids: a survey of

religious organizations on campus

You don’t need to go far to find ways to fill your mind with information at the university. But perhaps your morning stats class is not fulfilling your every spir- itual need. If not, there is prob- ably a meditation or religious group on campus ready and will- ing to ease your mind. Introduc- tory presentations for a variety of groups, from Bud- dhism to Baha’i, are frequently available on campus.

Annik Foreman instructs a Buddhist meditation in the Karma Kagya tradi- tion. “On the lowest level, it’s a stress re- lease,” she said, “but then it be- comes much more than that.” She said that students can stock themselves with facts, “but has it really lead to a greater understand- ing of life? Are they really deeply happy people? Not al- ways.” Foreman’s meditation teaches the “Diamond Way” Buddhist path, which is the high- est level of Buddhist meditation.

Foreman’s course began in January of this year and will con- tinue through April, although student response has been “pretty underwhelming” so far, she said. People interested in Buddhism in general, she ex- plained, might not be interested

Ailied Health

in Tibetan Buddhism. She com- pared Tibetan Buddhism to Zen Buddhism, which she said was “for the Protestant mind, it’s very bare... Tibetan Buddhism is like Catholicism. There’s a lot of lamps, incense, symbols. Every- thing’s very rich.”

As an hour away from the

daily grind, Foreman said that students can benefit from medi- tation. She explained that “your mind is the sky and your thoughts are the clouds going by in the sky. You’re not trying to get rid of the clouds... you can just watch them go by and enjoy them. But you don’t have to fol- low them, and you don’t have to let them direct your life.

“If by April nobody’s com-

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ing, I’ll just do it by myself,” Foreman said. “It doesn’t bother me.”

Some other groups, like fol- lowers of Ching Hai and Sri Chinmoy, are not regular reli- gious groups on campus, but provide frequent introductory presentations or free meditations

to invite students to practice regularly off campus. Ching Hai meditation has not caught on in the U of A, but Jane Huang, a Ching Hai initiate and -PhD student at the U of A said that responses from students have been positive on other campuses.

Ching Hai teaches that “re- ligion itself is actually the teach- ings of the Master. What [all re- ligious leaders] actually preach is meditation,” said Huang. Fol- lowers of Ching Hai can there- fore have any religious back- ground. “I do not belong to Buddism or Catholicism. I be- long to the truth and I preach the Truth. You may call it Bud- dhism, Catholicism, Taoism, or whatever you like. I welcome all!” said Supreme Master Ching Hai’s introductory pam-

phlet.

Messengers visit the U of A regularly, present Ching Hai practices and beliefs and wel- come new initiates. “Quan Yin” initiates meditate strictly and must be vegetarian, but Huang said there is also a “con- venient” method for those who are not ready for rigorous commit- ment. Huang said that “Master [Ching Hai] teaches that the material things in this world are not that important,” and that the spirit can explore other worlds through meditation.

Nonetheless, Ching Hai is involved with painting and the design of jewelry and clothing. Huang expressed dis- comfort with these ac- tivities, and thinks “some [other initiates] might have similar feel- ings.” She explained that “once a person is enlightened, they will achieve many talents,” but suggested that artis- tic expression is inap- propriate for a religious Master.

The Edmonton Sri Chinmoy centre holds free meditations at the university, and invites par- ticipants to join the city centre af- terwards. The meditations fol- low Hindu teachings and include fixating on candle flames or small dots and chanting. Some members grow their hair long and are vegetarian and celibate. Sri Chinmoy “requires that you

lead a spiritual life,” said city centre leader Srutika Garfinkle. Steve Kent, a professor of soci- ology at the U of A who has been following the Sri Chinmoy group, said the group was “au- thoritarian.”

Sri Chinmoy campaigns for world peace by sponsoring run- ning events worldwide . He also holds a number or world records including some for weight-lift- ing, having lifted small aircraft, and speed-poetry, and having written thousands of poems in only hours. He is a meditation consultant for the United Na- tions.

Some participants and former members of Sri Chinmoy expressed mistrust of the group’s intentions. One said that “the purpose of these [free medita- tions] is to recruit members for this cult.” Garfinkle said that “What we teach is for people to look inside and be strong inside and trust their own inner medi- tations.” A news feature on Sri Chinmoy was published in the Gateway on Nov. 26, 1996.

The Campus Crusade for Christ is a Christian group at universities worldwide, and cur- rently has fifty members at the U of A, according to; Gabriel Ting, interim campus director here for Campus Crusasde. “The purpose of Campus Crusade at the U of A is to help fulfill the

great commission in this genera- tion,” said Ting, “We desire to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with everyone and also to disciple people... helping people along in their spiritual growth.”

Campus Crusade offers regu- lar prayer retreats with Christian speakers. “The best benefit is to develop the spiritual aspect of your life,” said Ting, pointing out that “especially at the univer-

sity, the profs will fill you with a lot of great intellectual knowl- edge, but I think sometimes a spiritual dimension is missing.”

Ting describes Campus Cru- sade as “pro-active.” One key as- pect of Campus Crusade, he said, was training disciples to convey their faith to others. “Personally I don’t think that it’s high pres- sure,” he said, “We ask whether people would like to talk with us, and there’s the opportunity for them to say yes or no.”

Campus Crusade surveyed about 200 people at the univer- sity on the 27th and 28th of March. “Especially with regards to the question, ‘Do you consider the spiritual dimension of your life important?’ People do. They really do... overwhelmingly, peo- ple declared that they felt the spiritual dimention of their life was important.” Nevertheless, Ting said he saw a decline in stu- dent activity in church.

The Association of Baha’i Studies on campus provides a relatively new religious option to students. Owen Miller, director of Baha’i Studies on campus, said that the faith stresses “the oneness of religion... we believe that all [religions are] basically true,” he said.

According to Miller, basic Baha’i principles are the equal- ity of man and woman, the one- ness of humanity and religion, and the need for universal education. “We live in a time where people, for the most part, are educated,” he said, “and this is unique to our time.” For this reason, he added, Baha’i has no clergy. Rather, the Local Spiritual Assembly, consisting of nine members in Edmon- ton, are elected annually. There is also a National Spiritual Assembly for Canada and a Universal House of Justice for inter- national administration in Isreal. There are no cam- paigns for the positions, and the assemblies are purely administrative, said Miller.

Despite attempts to unify religions with prin- ciples of tolerance and universality, Miller ad- mitted that Baha’i has not been well received by other groups on campus. He ex- plained that “because we’re the latest [faith], there is usually a lot of concern.” Baha’i originated in 1844. Miller welcomes inquiries during an up-coming Baha’i event on campus. Booths will be set up in the business atrium and SUB, and workshops will be of- fered during the week of March 23.

Feature article by Liz Walton Images courtesy of the Internet

SU ELECTIONS '97: THE CANDIDATES

PRESIDENT CURRAN, Stephen

The most important qualities that the President of the Students’ Union can possess is the knowledge of, and commitment to the concerns of students across campus, and they stem directly from having a student’s perspective — something that the presidency has not had for quite some time.

I have this student perspective that I will bring with me directly into the position of President next year. My experiences across campus have included academics, athletics, student groups, and student government. Most importantly though, I have been able to avoid the politics and self-interest that too often defines the Students’ Union. I am a student, and this an invaluable quality to have in our President.

As our Undergraduate Student Representative to the Board of Governors, I’ve fought increasingly painful tuition increases and lobbied the University to increase the quality of the education which we receive from this institution. I want to continue these fights as the President of the Students’ Union. I also want to lobby the University to invest in the expansion of needs-based bursaries, so that we are not turning qualified students away..

The bottom line is that I best combine experience and leadership, while maintaining a genuine student perspective. The issue in this campaign is whether or not we want a New, Student Leader as the President next year. If we do , vote Stephen Curran for President, March 12 & 13.

McLEOD, James

James McLeod is a 3rd Year Sociology Major/ Political Science Minor. His interest in student politics was sparked by his realization that the S.U. had abandoned the students. Working in the real world to pay for his own education, James made the mistake of trusting the S.U. to represent his interests. With a strong sense of responsibility and open-mindedness, James McLeod; a real student for Students’ Union President. If you want an accountable S.U. that you can trust, vote James McLeod for president on March 12 and 13.

If you would like to find out more about me and leave a comment, then visit my interactive webpage at http://www.ualberta.ca/~jkmcleod

Connecting the SU 2 U, James McLeod

Kris the Masturbation Man Our Goal: To promote Masturbation Awareness

Finance. Responsibility. Respectability. Highly-trained ninja Safewalkers. Leadership.

Are you snoring? Have you just had a wet dream? Is your head firmly planted into your moist bow] of morning Cream of Wheat? Are you drooling so much that the saliva is running down your face and dripping off your chin?

Well, I was. I did. It is. And, frankly, I still am.

What do all the above all have in common? They’re deadly dull. Deadly, deadly dull. Is anybody really going to provide any of these things. Does anyone really give a fuck?

Now, let’s go on to a better word. Masturbation. And see what comes to mind.

Masturbation - a fresh sea-borne breeze. Masturbation - waking up to the scent of coffee, bacon, eggs and toast.

Masturbation - grunting between your sheets in the middle of the night

Masturbation - picking up a brand new edition of the Gateway every Tuesday and Thursday, and perhaps even finding a shiny new TLF addressed to you.

Alright then. In the final analysis, it appears that masturbation is good.

So, are we aware yet? Good. Now vote for me, dammit.

Sincerely, Kris the Masturbation Man

LOSEY, David The President must deal with all aspects of the Students’ Union, including academic

issues, finances, external politics and student life. My experience as Vice president Opera-

‘tions and Finance has allowed me to deal with, and make decisions in, all of these portfolios. I have worked with academic issues through the course pack initiative, in the student life area with the orientation program, and in the external portfolio by negotiating for new student internships from the Royal Bank and Alberta Treasury Branch. I am a well rounded candidate and can offer a lot of experience to the role of president.

The University of Alberta has to do something about tuition levels; tuition is rising while quality is diminishing. Tuition must not increase again until quality catches up with cost and this is the year to start. Currently the university is embarking on a multi-million dollar fund-raising campaign we must ensure that the money gets used where it is needed most. Areas like classroom upgrades, teaching programs for new professors, computer labs, study space, and needs-based bursaries. With these achievable improvements we will begin to close the gap between the cost of our education and the quality we receive.

HARRISON, Hoops

“Hey HOOPS, what do I GET for my $88.00 in SU fees?”

As VP External this year, you GOT:

¢ 6500 internships and 30,000 summer placements nation-wide through a federal lobbying campaign.

¢ $24,000 worth of U of A/ Alberta Treasury Branch internships for students in all faculties.

¢ A $700 increase in tax deductions per student which will, on average, put $300 of REAL money back into every student’s pocket.

¢ A12 month extension for repayment of your student loans.

As President next year, you will GET:

¢ Successful government lobbying during the federal election.

¢ Stabilized tuition because currently it is growing faster than the lint ball in Chris Farley’s

-belly button! I will change this institutions policy on mandatory tuition increases.

¢ Job Shadowing, Menotrship Opportunities, and even more Internship programs.

¢ FULL refunds on course pack material!

¢ A Graduate Orientation Program which will prepare students for the school to work transition.

¢ Curtains in student lounges.

¢ Increased access to computers.

e —A“Snoozers” lounge where students can go to have a power-nap and not look like stranded travelers at an airport.

° New furnitutre for the Gateway (and yes guys I AM sucking up!) ¢ — Results! :

SPACEMOOSE Whenever I think about SU politics, I smile a little. Then the uncontrollable puking starts. In the eight years that I have been on campus, I have watched helplessly as SU hacks struggle for petty positions of power in the puerile dog and pony show known as the SU election. This year more than two dozen wishful dweebs are vying for six cushy SU jobs which they will use to reinforce delusions of self worth. Apparently, students are not only required to put up with this crap, they have to pay for it. I offer you an alternative to utter chaos. Voting for Space Moose is as simple and natural as taking a dump. It is also just as necessary. As you purge your bowels of human filth, I will purge the SU of all it's cowardly bureaucratic traditions. Expect to see the code of student behaviour, and all other Stalinist doctrines reduced to ashes shortly after my appointment. Students will no longer be unjustly punished for acting on their basic human emotions. So, if you want a president who will give you more than an empty smile and a sticky handshake, I am your moose..- Oh yeah. Stop stealing my posters, you fuckers!!!.

VP ACADEMIC

MURPHY, Sheamus

I want you to feed your mind. Students who support the Sheamus Murphy for VP Academic campaign are supporting their own right to a better learning environment. Be it through universal teaching standards for professors, more accessible and affordable technology, or course evaluation reform, I want the university to meet the academic priorities of students. Equal access to quality education based on scholastic merit can start with toll-free and on-line registration; it can continue with a strong academic component in the universal orientation; it can be saved in spit of tuition increases by new needs based bursaries. Representing your interests, | will assertively lobby the university to make teaching and research dual priorities, to meet the needs of the poor on campus, and to place us at the forefront of new technologies. As President of Arts, on Students' Council, on Academic Affairs Board, and as a policy advisor to the Ministry of Alberta Education, I have grown to understand the issues that affect you. Let me continue to work for you by breaking down the barriers that keep us from the education that we deserve. Help me to improve our university community. Get informed and vote Sheamus Murphy for VP Academic on March 12 & 13.

CRAWFORD, Andrea

Academic priorities must drive budgetary decisions. The VP Academic is the liaison between the students and the administration and prioritizes academic issues. If elected, two key issues I will pursue are the creation of a technology integration plan and increased funding through bursaries.

First, the university must create a long-term technology strategy, not a wishlist. Students need to have clear computer access standards before they enter their faculty so they can make informed decisions on whether or not the purchase of a computer is worthwhile and budgeting accordingly. Funding must be directed to ensure students have access to the best possible technology and to ensure that the University of Alberta ALWAYS remains competi- tive.

Secondly, post secondary education accessibility is a crucial academic issue. I will work with the VP External to increase funding through needs-based bursaries delivered by effective administrative and governmental lobbying and effective management.

Please take the time to GET informed on the issues. I’m a member of the GET team, five candidates known for their experience and knowledge of the issues. So on March 12 and 13, GET out and vote, and GET results.

VP EXTERNAL

TAYLOR, Heather

Since 1990 the student debt load upon graduation has risen from $8700 to an estimated $25,000 in 1998 while the quality of our education has been going down. Pretty soon, post secondary education is going to be for an elite few unless we continue to lobby the provincial government to increase funding. In the past three years, funding for post secondary education has been cut by 21%. This has meant cuts to the Student Finance Board resulting in the elimination of the Alberta Equalization Grant given to first and second year students, effective this year. What needs to be done, and I will do this for you, is effective lobbying of the provincial government to increase post secondary education funding and create more need .

_ based grants and bursaries.

Another issue of great concern to me is the consolidation of the Student Finance Board with the Learner Support Division programs. This consolidation is meant to enhance service through common administration of funding, information and counselling. This “new” service which will be referred to as the Learner Assistance Division is to be in place and in full service by the fall of 1997. Well, we will no longer be able to go downtown to find out information about our loan and receive heip. Instead we will have to go to a Career Development Center (there will be 3 in Edmonton, 2 of which most of us won’t be able to access) to receive counselling on our student loans. So what am I going to do for you? Well, first a mechanism has to be put into place to monitor the progress and the success of this new government initiative. Student input is vital to this process, so | am going to make sure that students have a loud and effective voice in this process. As well, we have to make sure that there is ongoing consultation between the government and the students. This is a service for students so students should have a say.

I will GET you results. Results that you will see. Remember HEATHER TAYLOR FOR VP EXTERNAL. So make sure that you GET out and vote on March 12 & 13 and don’t forGET to vote for GET.

LEE, James

I am currently a fourth year student in the Environmental Conservation Science pro- gram, majoring in economics and policy. On campus, I serve on the executive committee in the Environmental Conservation Students Association and on the General Faculties Council as a faculty representative. My platform may be summarised by one word “ OPTIONS”. I would like to provide students with more options in 3 areas; more summer and full time employment with public and private firms, the continued expansion and the creation of the valuable co-op programs, and to continue lobbying against the restriction of American used books in Canadian Universities, to provide students with cheaper priced books. These-are the issues that students have addressed and therefore these are the issues that I will focus on.

KYLIUK, Q Just to clear things up, I am not nor have I ever been a member of the Q Continuum. I

do have many influential friends, however.

Over the next week, if you haven’t already, you will hear a lot about the importance of accessible education, strong government lobbying, stabilizing tuition and needs-based bursa- ties. This will all start to sound repetitive because it is.

These are all noble goals and I will work towards them. What differentiates me are my goals beyond these.

I plan to mobilize Canadian post-secondary institutions to lobby for tax exemption for scholarships and bursaries.

I will work to create stronger employer involvement with the university and its students, to make programs more responsive to changes in employer needs and to make our students more employable. I will aggressively seek their investment in our education for the benefit of all students.

I am in my fifth year of school and in the co-op program. An effective VP External needs my kind of experience, in and out of the university, to know what to do and to get it done. Vote Q.

This message brought to you by the candidate Q.

STOGRIN, Nicole

I am a second year science student, and also a second year resident of Lister Hall. As a Lister resident I sit on numerous committees that try to make Lister a home rather than just a place to stay. I am also involved outside of Lister with the Council of Alberta University Students (CAUS) as the Administrator for the group.

I feel strongly about the increasing debt load students leave university with. I am committed to lobbying for changes in how financial aid is given out. Some of my ideas include: pushing for more government funded bursaries and scholarship based upon financial need and academic performance, getting a remissions program in place for those in financial need of it. I would like to see an increased involvement of industry in co-op and internship programs. By getting industry more involved in these programs the quality of education would increase and students will be better prepared to enter the work force upon graduation. Work terms are also another way of reducing student debt-load as students would be able to save some money to put towards their academic terms.

If you have any questions you would like me to answer or issues you would like to discuss, you’re welcome to contact me by e-mail: nstogrin@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca or call me at: 439-4153.

WATT, Dave

I’m running for VP External because I believe there are a number of areas where we can improve our relations with the community. As a full time student, a volunteer on campus, a member of several clubs, a member of External Affairs Board, and someone who works part time to support my education, I have the experience to voice student concerns and work on the executive team to develop policies that will benefit all students.

There are two main components to the External Portfolio I would like to see developed. One is Lobbying Locally, Provincially, and Federally in different contexts. It’s necessary to strengthen our voice through consolidating our efforts with other groups holding similar interests; student issues don’t end with tuition and student loans so it doesn’t make sense for us to fight with Health Care and K-12 Education for money.

The second is direct contact with the community. We can involve students in recruit- ment, publicity, and education about the University’s role. Our Campus Ambassador and Community Relations programs need development in conjunction with those involved in the programs to ensure a highly efficient student service.

Both of these components are extremely important to the portfolio: they reveal the role of the University of Alberta clearly in the community. We are a strong voice in Edmonton, Alberta, and Canada, and we need to continue to assert our presence and our voice as we study here at the U of A. I believe the students of this University deserve sound policies, not just

sound bytes.

VP OPERATIONS

STONEBERG, Juli No Information

BISHOP, Garth ...it can be done. If elected, I will do the following:

- institute a frequent user program, which rewards students that use SU businesses

- evaluate dedicated SU fees to determine if they are still priorities

- explore an optional group auto and home insurance plan that would include alumni

- evaluate the wage structure of the SU to determine its fairness

- work with the Canadian Campus Business Consortium to develop a marketing company that would use national economies of scale to market products that students want, at prices students can afford

- utilize the power of 28,000 students, staff and alumni to bring businesses to campus that students want, such as Ticketmaster

- encourage the SU businesses to work together in terms of marketing so that each business occupies its own niche — there is no point in operating similar businesses

- ensure that the SU only operates businesses that can be profitable — the more money that is lost by businesses, the less there is for SU projects and services. I am a fourth year business student who has the dedication, drive and experience to get the job done... please vote Garth Bishop for VP Operations & Finance.

SEO, John The Students’ Union budget must be balanced. Nothing exemplifies the need to balance the budget more than the half-million dollar loss in the past two years. In the effort to balance the budget, cuts in spending are unacceptable! Services are now at the point where any more budget cuts will mean they cannot effectively serve students. We must look towards our Student Union owned businesses to make the money neccesary to prevent the deterioration of important services and prevent an increase in fees. If I am elected as VP Operations and Finance, you will GET a 3-point plan to increase business revenue: 1) customer driven management and service 2) effective marketing 3) operating efficiency Increased revenues from implementation of the three points, in conjunction with new and increasing flows of income, will bring your Students’ Union “back into the black”. These new and increasing flows of income include the Print Centre, the Power Plant and SUBtitles, which is shattering budgeting projections for income. It’s clear that SU businesses can make consistent profits, and as VP Operations and Finance, I will work hard to maximize these profits.

I believe in long-term planning, aggressive marketing and hands-on management to ensure balanced budgets and continually increasing revenues. The GET team is comprised of: Hoops Harrison for President, Andrea Crawford for VP Academic, Heather Taylor for VP External, and Ryan Gassner for VP Student Life. The GET team brings together five experi- enced and knowledgable candidates with a proven record of co-operation. Along with the GET team, I, John Seo, will take Students’ Union management to a higher level and you will GET results.

VP STUDENT LIFE

POLLARD, David

My name is Dave Pollard and | want to be your VP Student Life. I can bring a wide range of experience to this position. I feel my experience in retail customer service, youth work, and in the political arena have given me the tools to help improve student life on campus. Every good idea on this campus does not come from the second floor of SUB, students and their organizations must be heard. This requires meaningful consultation that I am ready to provide. Orientation is an essential SU service and must continue to adapt to students changing needs. First year and transfer students need effective and informative orientation.. These students and all students need to know that the SU is their resource to learn more about their campus. The last plank in my campaign platform is finding new ways to increase student participation and attendance at athletics and cultural events. The SU can try a number of ways of doing this. For example they could issue challenges between faculties and student groups to attend Bears and Pandas events. I have the willingness and the experience to do this job, all I need now is your

vote.

OUTRAM, Derrick Hi, my name is Derrick Outram.

DO, OR DO NOT, THERE IS NO TRY. I will put the student back in the Student’s Union and ensure the executive is both accessible and representative by holding regular public forums to address student’s concerns, meeting with at least two students every day, and having the exec. serve in RATT or the Plant once a month.

You may already be sick of seeing my face plastered everywhere on those pretentious posters, but you should get used to it because if I’m elected, you’ll see my face all over campus anyways. That’s a promise.

DON’T LET CLASSES INTERFERE WITH YOUR EDUCATION. Using the diversity on campus, from fraternities and residences to mature and international students, | will foster a sense of community and school pride. To accomplish this, I will create excitement in varsity athletics, maintain a healthy (read: bitter) rivalry with the University of Calgary, encourage inter-faculty competitions, and somehow get our name in the Guiness Book of World Records.

Also, I will strive to create a well-rounded University experience by working with employers and student groups to ensure that our involvement opportunities develop fundamen- tal employable skills.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE. Vote Derrick OUTRAM, VP Student Life.

McDONOUGH, Stew

I am about connecting students with students. I am a fourth year Arts student, a Students’ Councillor, and past-member of the Arts Students’ Association Executive as well as on the Dean’s Advisory committee. In my four years little has changed, it is time to put excitement back into student lives.

Increased interaction between faculties through S.U. sponsored events will give you the opportunity to feel like you are part of more than just a faculty. Part of a greater campus community. Activities such as a New Year’s party and local band nights in the Power Plant, a sponsored outdoor skating rink outside of the Law building, movie nights in Horowitz theatre, all culminating in a year end tri-campus party with NAIT and Grant McEwan will give you the opportunity to interact with students from other faculties even after WOW is over. I want to incorporate all of the peripheral areas of campus into this greater community in order to enrich everyone's university experience.

Often safety concerns are overshadowed by parties and entertainment, one of my main focus’ will be to have emergency phones on this campus and to make sure that students decide where to put them so that they are not just thrown to where it happens to be more cost efficient.

It is my aim to make this university one that we can all be proud to be a part of. Capitalizing on our amazing athletic program which I have enjoyed supporting since I was in junior high with increased advertising in SUB and selling tickets at info booths.

My ideas are ones that will cost little but will help enormously. Through my involve- ment at this university I have seen what has been done, more importantly I realize what can and should be done.

MARSH, Bill

Student group powers; public relations with residences; the impending demise of Volunteer Connections; the inhomogenous charge of $100 towards student groups using SUB office space; manditory university orientations; the slow transition towards the use of the One- Card; the formation of the RHA (Residence Hall Association); and security on campus are many of the concerns that fuel my involvement in this election

Before you make a choice on the ballot this year, make a value judgement. Would you - rather have a "Students' Union Hack", whose entire university experience has been confined to the SUB building, or do you select the individual with campus wide experience. I have had campus wide exposure. I've dealt with student groups, faculties, and departments for the last three years as the Alcohol Event Inspector and Event Advisor for on and off campus events. I've had executive experience as VP External of the Chemistry Students Association (1995/1996) . I've been an active member, and resident of Lister Hall for three years which familiarizes me with their issues, policies and operations. I'm currently a member of Safe Walk which gives me the opportunity to be aware of security issues and the knowledge of other SU Student Services. Be aware of your values, and mark the 'X' inside the box for whom you think will do the job best.

GASSNER, Ryan

Student Life: What is it? The Vice President Student Life has to concern themself with all student life issues on campus. Examples include, campus security, safety on campus, student health and ethnic diversity. Entertaining, communicaton and programming, orientation, residence, intra-faculty relations, and many other also reside with this portfolio.

Addressing all the issues I am concerned about is difficult in this short article, but here are some key points of major importance:

Communication between students and the Students’ Union is the foundation of the SU, but it has always been a shortfall. A Gateway troubleshooter column is key to communication with the students. It’s the best possible form of communication available.

Many students suffer from sleep deprivation because of late nights and early mornings. What I plan to do to solve this is make available a “power-napping” lounge for every student to

use. This is a key step in keeping students well rested and able to function throughout the day.

The up-coming year we will see a new orientation program for first-year students teaching them how to adapt to campus life. What about graduating students? These students moving into the work force may not have the necessary skills and experience in areas such as effective communication and resume writing. With a combination of facilities such as Career and Placement Services, Student Financial Aid and external businesses and companies to provide these seminars in a neat three to four day package. This will increase the value of the U of A degree and give every student that takes the optional seminars a chance to “hit the ground running” in the job market.

As a member of the GET team I believe teamwork is vital to a successful executive. The GET team consists of Hoops Harrison for President, Andrea Crawford for VP Academic, Heather Taylor VP External, and John Seo VP Operations and Finance. As VP Student Life I

will GET you the student RESULTS.

BOARD OF GOVERNORS REPRESENTATIVE

FLYNN, Susan

Hi! As a 4th year Business student majoring in Accounting, I have direct experience representing students. I sit on the Students' Council and the SU's Financial Affairs and Internal Review Boards. I have sound understanding of the University's formal organizational structure and procedures and have consistently demonstrated a willingness to speak out on issues which affect my fellow students. | have developed a strong sense of professionalism being a liaison between Accounting students and the business community. My goals: 1) Increase the number of student seats on the Board of Governors. We have 10% of the seats on the Board. However, 20 per cent of the U's budget comes from undergrad tuition and fees. We need to fill the gap between student contribution and student representation on the Board. 2) Shift the U's financial dependency from tuition to targeted industry support. This University Needs to recognize the immense opportunity for industry involvement on campus. A 3 year plan to eliminate tuition increases will generate a commitment by the U to identify priorities that can be effectively supported by industry.

It is time to work with the Board of Governors to implement realistic approaches to reducing the financial burden that tuition places on students.

BRULOTTE, Marcie

Undergraduate students are on campus to learn. Are we getting the quality teaching we

deserve? Are we learning in excellent environments? Not all the time. Yes, we do have some

excellent professors, and instructors who have that flare for teaching, but that is not all of them.

Some classes are extremely well equipped, but not all have the resources they need, nor the space we need. The University’s mission statement states, “The mission of the University of Alberta is to serve our community by the dissemination of knowledge through teaching [...]” It is with this in mind that I am running as a candidate for the Board of Governors Undergraduate Representative.

The question is why vote for me.— I know what the student voice can do! Because of my voice on General Faculties Council permanent left-handed desks were put in Tory Lecture B1 and B2 last September. With your support I can ask your questions and take your opinions to BoG and in return I will inform you of BoG issues and decisions. On March 12 & 13 please vote Marcie Brulotte for Board of Governors.

LUONG, Quang

The position of the Undergraduate Board of Governors Representative stands not only as the voice of Undergraduate students but symbolically it is also the eyes, ears and the fists of all concerned students.

With that in mind, I am interested in seeing an increase in the number of student representa- tives on the BoG so that the concerns of students will not just be heard then ignored, but will be respected and dealt with appropriately. Students should also be granted greater say on how tuition is to be spent. It is unrealistic to promise lower tuition without cutting back on the quality of learning, but students need to be informed that not all tuition costs are being spent on them.

You have the opportunity to elect a new face to your student government, someone who will bring a much needed refreshing perspective to the BoG which will benefit the way students are represented. I believe that voters are realizing that the BoG representatives need not roll out a long list of past University achievements to be qualified, rather a student representative on the BoG should be an individual who is dedicated to being aware and exposing problems that may effect undergraduate students. Someone like myself who is in touch with issues and concerns

of undergraduates NOW.

HASSAM, NarmMin No INFORMATION

Students' Union Election Vice Presidental Forum. Sub-Stage Friday March 7, 12:30

Attend the Candidates Forum March 10th, 12 noon Myer Horowitz

Classes are canceled from 12:00 - 1:00 P.M. on Monday March 10 for all students.

Wireless communications : support provided by

se Tetus- Mobility :

The stage at Rebar wilt never be the same.

The all-ages crowd got a good, hard look at the newly reformed stage. Gone is the corner cubby hole on stage left and a portion of stage right, making the stage appear larger. To break in the stage, an adrenaline-charged evening of entertain- ment lessened the blow for those afraid of change.

Token locals (or cleverly-planned crowd manipulators) The Buicks turned their usually happy-sounding set up a level or two to fit in with the punk acts to follow. This being their last show for a while after playing every other week for the last few months, the boys showed the kiddies what they’ve learned. Their casual, easy-going, rock star attitude was rewarded with an enthusiastic swarm of moshers after the first song. Stage kicks and the occasional unintelligible yell made them very punk.

With control over the lights, guitarist J.P. Stefko sometimes let the power go to his head as he got so caught up changing lights that he had to play catch-up with the others’ quick-tempo pop-punk. The standout song of the set was one only partially done by them: they played the music, but pulled a guy from the crowd to make up the vocals on the spot, and he did a pretty amusing job of it as well. A pretty solid set, but they always seem to wear the same outfits every time. That’s pretty punk.

Ghoulies are go! The best thing out of Sacramento, California is the threesome known as the Groovie Ghoulies. Out to promote their latest record, World Contact Day, the Ghoulies filled the floor even before they started throwing out scary treats. The dancers were out in full force, much to the delight of the Ghoulies, who made sure to let the kids know they were cooler than the Calgary crowd of the day before. The reward for such dedicated dancers was quick-paced, three-chord wonders. As with the other openers, Kepi had control over the lights, but hadn’t practiced earlier, which resulted in lights all around the dance floor lighting up rather than the stage lights. Finally decid- ing the spooky dim lighting was best, he gave up his pursuit for the most flatter- ing light to show off his trademark black- ened eye mask.

Playing on a Ghoulie-decorated stage consisting of various ereaey monster-type

Following an accident involving a radioactive can of spray paint...

figures, Kepi kicked it into high gear with Neil Diamond's “Hello Again”. The other standout cover of Billy Bragg’s “A New England” got the kids jumping, as did “When The Kids Go Go Go Crazy” which let Roach show off with some guitar so- los. To keep the set challenging, Kepi yelled out, “OK, let’s play this one while only standing on black squares!” At the end of their set the kids yelled enough to warrant an encore, unheard of by an opening band, so the Ghoulies let the crowd pick the song. An awesome set from an underrated band.

Signed to Lookout!, the illustrious la- bel that started Green Day, The Queers do a bit of that three-chord punk as well. Showing that it is possible to follow the Groovie Ghoulies, The Queers played an almost non-stop set of catchy punk songs with very little chatting, making it one-

entertainment

Entertainment Editor: Scott SA ees 7052

Jim Jeong

and-a-half hours of fun. Aside from one of the bouncers getting out of hand, the set had few disruptions.

Starting off with the always crowd- friendly “This Place Sucks”, The Queers did a bundle of stuff from Don’t Back Down mixed in with some older stuff. The deep, well-thought-out lyrics either make you laugh or make you angry, but the music will make you dance. The harmonies in “I Like Your Girls” are anthem-like, and “Punk Rock Girls” is revoltingly catchy. Not one to be outdone in quotes, the stel- lar, “Would the person with diarrhea go home?!” set the mood for the set. The wave of middle fingers saluting the band show the love between band and crowd, as did the encore.

My punk quotient is filled for the year.

(Karen Liebel —s_—sidys

incase y you “pou ee of Al- a artists weren’t making enough of a

‘pr ence for themselves in the larger ar- cene, here i As the tale of ihe Hite

p vate meetings a

_ Congratulations! ©

through physical expression, According to the group (which is highly collective), the objective of the process is to de-privilege

dance technique as the only legitimate form : ofdancelanguage.

Recently, Bodyvoice moved out ake pri- began a public career,

- Bodyvoice will be one of four Canadian from Alberta.

_ follow...in this case, all the way to Eng-_

ing up ina bee way. The group | jee beak invited to perform at Transformations, an international feminist conference at Lan-_ caster University, England. There, — presenters, and the sole Ere Let your mind § go, and your body will

land, and to provide exposure for ay

one at the U of A. ne to gol

= sue

The ve Tree, Boro, otros e | other two guys... oe practically defined

to understand it now). When they started :

to realize they were hot stuff, the band didn’t drop the political aspect of their | music; on the contrary, they expanded it, making it less localized and blending it

with more personal, and often spiritual,

sentiments as well. And while this was happening, they perfected ¢ the ubtle sci--

ence of i irony. . Let me explain by Some When Actung Baby came out (in 1991), Bono be-

Ban to self-mythologize himself by. adopt- :

ing a character he named after the song: “The Fly.” You've seen him doit—he wears those vaguely fly-eyed dark goggle glasses

and that really s ug mile. For the ee

on the nature of fame and stardom. Bono =

was acknowledging that he was a super- star, but at he same ‘time, his : mile told -

the coque beneath the surface. But somewher- along the bee U2's irony dropped out of the mix, leaving only j pop star egoism and self-indul gence. I suppose it was inevitable—not even Bono could maintain the delicate balance between political consciousness and so- cial institution indefinitely. | suppose it was some form of irony which motivated the band to announce the dates of their new tour, PopMart, from a K-Mart store. But! can’t see it manifesting i in. ay ‘other aspect of their work.

The first single off Pop, “Discoteque” is an unremarkable—and very straight- forward—pop song. The video reads asa self-indulgent ode to the Village People. The aforementioned tour is a symphony of self-indulgence: 35 kilometers of cable, 21,000 circuit boards, and 120,000 connec- tors go to make up the world’s largest tel- evision screen (150 by 50 feet); plus you get a 100 foot tall golden arch, a 35 foot *Mirrorball Lemon,” and a 12 foot wide internally illuminated Stuffed Olive (on. a 100 foot tall toothpick). Quite a show, to be sure... but is there anything fo it any _ more? Or has the group which once made serious statements about politics and the | nature of stardom become just SS multi-platinum mega-band? —

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997

Page 17

TRUEs:: SHREW

(THEATRE | ) The Taming of the Shrew : by William Shakespeare at the Citadel Theatre \March 530

You know a play rea some chine es hind it when it acquires multiple titles.

“Tt may have been called Love’s Labour's Won at one time,” says director Denise Coffey, referring to Shakespeare’s comedy The Taming of the Shrew. “But perhaps a bet- ter title would be Woman Behaving Badly.”

Denise Coffey laughs affably about a topic which many artists and scholars treat very seriously indeed. In fact, Coffey is quite unashamed about her light-hearted, unpolitical treatment of what is one of

of romantic comedy. The revelation? “It is really a story about the training of a falcon.”

Coffey explains. “I live in South Devon, where I met a falconer—Philip Glasier, one of England’s premier falconers—and he con- firmed the details.” The battle of wills be- tween newlyweds Petruchio and Kate is, according to Glasier, a very close parallel to the manner in which a falconer trains a new falcon and breaks its will to his own. Hence Petruchio’s seemingly deplorable actions— like starving Kate, and depriving her of sleep. “In the end,” says Coffey, “a falconer has to release the falcon, and take a gamble that it will return to him. If he has earned the falcon’s respect, it will return.” In the fi- nal scene of Shrew, Kate gives Petruchio a public demonstration of her subservience,

“In the end,” says Coffey, “a.falconer has to release the falcon, and take a gamble that it will return to him. If he has earned the falcon’s respect, it will return.” In the final scene of Shrew, Kate gives Petruchio a public demonstration of her subservience, indicating that she, like the falcon, will return to him from now on.

Shakespeare’s most controversial works. While the play was originally intended as a romantic comedy with a liberal dose of farce, twentieth century commentators have high- lighted its vicious sexism and the misogynistic treatment of Katherina by her new husband, Petruchio. But Coffey seems untroubled my such readings; in fact, she stresses a return to romance in her new pro- duction, which opens at the Citadel this week.

Coffey has worked as associate director of Ontario’s Shaw Festival, directing (among others) Pygmalion and Androcles and the Lion. Her experience also extends into acting and radio performance (including a BBC series entitled Instant Coffey). And she is no stranger to Shrew, either; she directed the play at Neptune Theatre in their 1979-80 sea- son—a time when, according to. Coffey, “it was even more ofa hot potato than it is now.”

One major revelation about the text dis- tinguishes the 1997 production from its pre- cursor. “I discovered, almost by accident, what happens to Katherina in the play...what Shakespeare’s audience would have understood at once.” It is this knowl- edge, feels Coffey, that elevates Shrew out of the political sphere and back into the realm

indicating that she, like the falcon, will re- turn to him from now on.

“Katherina is a woman whose life is out of control through anger,” says Coffey of the ‘shrew’ in the play’s title, “Petruchio shows her how badly she behaves.” And Petruchio isn’t as bad as all that, either. “He’s a very wealthy man; he’s not a money-grubber at all. It’s his duty to find a wife of the right station.”

Even Kate’s speech at the end of the play, when she advises all women to obey their husbands and wait passively for their re- turns each day, has twentieth-century resonances, according to Coffey. “It’s de- signed for rough, outdoors folk. The women in rural England can certainly relate to wait- ing for their husbands in dark or storm, hop- ing they'll come home safely.”

Coffey is enthusiastic.about the play’s potential to entertain, despite the political baggage it has gathered. She emphasizes that the story is actually a play-within-a- play, a diverting tale filled with “mirth and merriment that bars all harm and lengthens life.” In using the script of the play as it was revised by Alexander Pope, she hopes to draw more focus onto the narrative frame, which is a story of a troupe of actors per- forming for a drunkard named Chris Sly.

Like, I'm So Sure ov want be Enter— tainment Editor

Ben Heppner

Conductor: Grzegorz Nowak

“A voice as smooth, as heady and as golden as oak-aged brandy.” — The Toronto Sun

Bizet — Carmen: La fleur que tu m’avais jetée

Verdi — La Forza del Destino:

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face behind the woman behind the vision behind the play.

Er, that is, director Denise Coffey. Yeah.

“Whatever you do to Shakespeare,” Coffey believes, “as long as you still hear his text, you would be able to warm yourself with that language.”

The message of The Taming of the Shrew? Coffey’s jovial response: “Peace and.love,

Photo courtesy of the Citadel Theatre

man.” She encourages all who love romance and fun to check out the play, but reminds would-be critics to “leave their manifesto luggage at | the aor

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Page 18 Thursday, March 6,

1997 gateway

REEL COOL, REEL INDEPENDENT

(FILM _

Local ie Taencuoal Saccn Festiva tional. Screen Institute : :

The eraibel for this year’s Pical He- roes film festival is a flower in with a film reel in its centre. As a metaphor, it’s darn good. Spring may not be here yet, but Local Heroes proves that the independ- ent film industry is in full bloom.

Local Heroes, the National Screen In- stitute’s week-long celebration of inde- pendent cinema, kicks off this Sunday with Local Exposure!, now in its fourth year. This collection of five-minute, lo- cally produced home video epics is al- ways good for a few serious belly laughs...but the quality of the work is usually anything but laughable.

From there, Local Heroes really. gets going, screening independent cinema from around the world every night while conducting seminars and showings of Ca-

nadian short dramas. On Tuesday (8 p-m.), the Garneau Theatre hosts an amaz- ing find: Tod Browning’s1927 silent film The Unknown, a tale of se- duction and intrigue star- ring Lon Chaney as a cir- cus knife-thrower in love with his assistant. On Wednesday (7:30 p.m.), the Australian film Lust and Revenge in which high art and high finance collide to result in high debauchery, plays at Capi- tol Square. Capitol Square also hosts Broken English, a New Zealand updating of the Romeo and Juliet story, on Thursday (7:30 p-m.), and Pizzicata, a lush and musical depic- tion of Italian rural culture circa 1943, on Friday (7:30 p.m.). And finally, Maria de Medeiros (Pulp Fiction, Henry and June) stars in Portugal’s Addo E Eva, a warped

comedy about a lesbian struggling to ful- fil her desire to have a child; it plays at the Garneau on Saturday (7:30 p.m.)

But that’s not the half of it! From Wednes- day to Saturday at 10 a.m. at the Delta Centre Suite Hotel, Local He- roes is offering semi- nars with industry pro- fessionals, covering everything from using multi-media to making multi-millions. Wednesday features a seminar with interna- tionally acclaimed Aus- tralian director Paul Cox; Thursday’s ses- sion, Reel Propellerheads, fea- tures CD-ROM expert Haney Armstrong in a discussion on the pros and cons of multi-media; Friday’s seminar, entitled

Go! On your mark. Get set., offers sug-

gestions on how to sell your Canadian film. And Butting Heads, Scratching Backs, which examines the critical (and often explosive) director-producer rela- tionship, takes placeo n Saturday.

Declarations of Independents is Local Heroes’ other major offering, allowing emerging Canadian filmmakers to showcase their short films and garner public reactions. On Wednesday and Thursday, from 2 to 5 p-m., you can catch the short films of Mar- tin Allard, Donna Davies, Neil McInnes, Cassandra Nicolaou and local actor Dana Anderson, along with many others. Check them out at Capitol Square Cinemas.

You know, not too long ago, a certain entertainment editor complained about a lack of adventurous alternative film outlets in Edmonton. Trust Local Heroes to arrive in time to ram my boot in my mouth so hard I'll be tasting leather for a week. Don’t miss this great opportunity to show me what a fool I’ve been. Don’t miss Local BSS

Gcott Sharplin —

Who killed Kurt Cobain: ?

An unnamed conspiratorial contributor speculates on whether the Nirvana star really took his own life...

The death of Kurt Cobain shocked a gen- eration, causing deep emotional scarring for his fans and media attention for his wife. Courtney Love became a household name shortly after the news hit and her then newly- released Live Through This ended up being a multi-platinum seller. The idea of a conspiracy theory isn’t new, and today we’ll examine the “facts” (read: rumours) in an attempt to solve The Kurt Cobain Secret.

Kurt Cobain’s hand-written suicide note told of getting big too fast and being unable to deal with all the attention. The writing of

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to write the first half and then, because he wasn’t writing fast enough, wrote the last half.

The reports said the gun in question was a rifle. Because the trigger would be so far down the barrel that little to no pow- der would hit the hands, the trigger could have been pulled by Cobain, but could also have been pulled by someone else be- cause the resin wouldn’t show up. It is also alleged there were no fingerprints on the rifle, an im- possible feat since Cobain would have had to touch the rifle at some point to set up his suicide.

With Cobain’s previous alleged suicide

the note was analyzed by writing experts and it was allegedly proved that the writing showed two different writing styles, one that definitely was Kurt Cobain’s and another unidentifiable one. You could blow this off, saying people’s hand-writing isn’t always the same, but the experts said, without a doubt, it could not have been written by the same person because the writing style was not the same. This means either: a) Cobain wrote half of it sober/clean and the other half totally high, which still is unlikely to cause such dif- ferent hand-writing, orb) someone forced him

attempt, he overdosed on heroin in Europe with Love and Frances Bean in tow. Since the suicide, Love has said the two of them had a suicide pact, but she chickened out in Eu- rope. If that is true, the question of why she didn’t check Cobain into a psy- chiatric ward rather than the drug-rehab centre that Cobain checked himself out of three days prior to his death remains unanswered:

At the time of Cobain’s. death, Courtney Love was allegedly in a sepa- rate drug-rehab facility trying to kick her

C..continued on page 19

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gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 19

own heroin habit. She wasn’t supposed — to have contact with the outside, but managed to hire a detective to find Cobain after he checked himself out of rehab. Her ability to gain access isn’t all that unusual for big stars, but what that private investigator discovered is unu- sual. The interesting facts: | The only credit card Kurt Cobain had was missing when he died. Allegedly it was used three days after his estimated death, meaning the store was either neg- ligent in sending in the carbon copy or someone stole the card when they killed him. 2) When the private investigator went

to see the house after Cobain‘s release, the friend who took him on a tour of the house showed the PI every room in the house except for the attic above the garage where ‘Cobain‘s body: was discovered. oS

to hire them to kill ck husband, One bar bouncer i LS Los poe oheas ne was d¢

claim. The third albe m was largely “unmentioned by the media, citing the vast _ differences between the albums. This has

= caused the ‘theory tk ‘Cobain co-wrote :

| wasn’t written solely y dees this seems unfounded. Similarly, ex-Nirvana drummer Dave Groh band the Foo Fighters came out with a release months after the death. Al- Jegations flew that Cobain had actually _ written the songs and Grohl had stolen’ _ them, bat Grohl supported his claim that he had written them himself in 1991 and played all instruments himself. This was questioned by the media because the liner notes say all members contribute, but Grohl has. blown this off as media con-

_ ‘The pdiodouee & the whic: con- : spiracy theory has gotten out of hand i in

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Keri Lynn : The Devil's Mill Independent —

If you’ve been to the Fringe Festival in the last few years, you may have noticed a young woman playing the harp, singing Celtic ballads and attracting a large crowd. As the result of numerous inquiries, she soon produced a tape. Then last summer at the fringe she was promoted to the Gazebo Stage where she attracted even larger crowds, and now she has upgraded form tape to CD.

The artist of which I speak is Keri Lynn, a student at the U of A, finishing her BFA in concert harp this spring.

Out of the dozen songs on the CD, there are only three songs in common with the tape. The arrangements are new, however. Unlike the tape and her street performing, where she performed completely solo, the CD has many other instruments accompa- nying. Almost all of these are traditionally used in Celtic music. They add an extra fla- vour to most of the tracks, especially the uillian pipes in the introduction to “She Moves Through the Fair”. My only com- plainte is =2 with Thee Hearty Newfoundlander” where the banjo and accordian tend to be distracting, although they do give a strong maritime sound to it.

All of the tracks on this album are tradi- tional ballads originating from Ireland, Scot-

Spearhead oe Chocolate Supa Highoay . EMI MusicCanada Spearhead’s latest abi is a definite must for your CD collection, if you enjoy groove music. Spearhead’s style of hip hop will provide you with a “unique blend of rap, reggae, soul, mixed with equal parts of so- cial and political consciousness.”

I am not sure what Spearhead’s defini- tion of social and political consciousness is, because I couldn’t help but notice that one song is about ganja, another about sensimillia, another about pot, and one about just getting high. It is worth a good laugh, though. Actually, at moments, Spearhead’s cerebral word play over the music is some of the finest I’ve heard. It is also worth not- ing that no two pieces sound alike, which is something that most recording artists strug- gle to achieve. Furthermore, almost every song is catchy and memorable, though not in an unsophisticated, commercial sense.

If you want something to complement your Bob Marley CDs, give this up-and-com- ing artist a try, and go for a journey down the Chocolate alte Sele

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Keri Lynn on Whyte Avenue.

land, and the Maritimes. Their range of themes include war and execution by hang- ing, but mostly love (of course). They’re the kind of songs you read in the first part of the poetry section of English class. Here you get to experience them in their proper medium. They also have a tendency to get stuck in your head. Fortunately Keri has a pleasing

More 80s: 21?

Imago Recording .

The 80s was not an exeaticnaly nade breaking decade in the music world. Don’t get me wrong, stuff did happen, it just wasn’t Beatles or Elvis kind of stuff. Great White was notable in the 80s, and their longevity makes them worthy of mention in the nineties, but they don’t bring the house down.

One of the first poseur hard rock groups, they haven't ventured too far from that path. This is not a bad thing, focusing on this one musical motif has given them style and qual- ity. Let It Rock really is a good CD. Being an album-releasing band for more than 10 years, these guys know what they’re doing and it shows.

Previous experience with hard rock has shown me one too many artists who destroy it in their mad efforts to make it “hard”. It’s common enough to see a group decimate whatever musical talent they might have dem- onstrated by using too many instruments,

>) fighting for “noise”, without giving one a clear

lead over the rest. Attempts to make appro-

File Photo

voice, so it’s not so bad.

I can’t say I’ve known of many U of A students who’ve made a CD, so I think it’s worth getting just for that reason. It’s also really good. Two excellent reasons to check it out.

priate lyrics, often left the listener with a bunch of really stupid words that meant nothing and sounded worse. And let’s not forget (ugh) controlled distortion.

These problems don’t hinder Great White at all; A group that knows all the acoustical tricks and inspires deep thought as well. They rise above fashion but fall short of history making. Good quality from an established name, but nothing new.

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Sports Editor: Wade Tymchak 492-5068

Pandas start CIAUs with cakewalk

Pandas start CIAU championship, in the U of A Main Gym, against 8th ranked St. Mary’s

by Denise Fernandes

Great teams usually face two situations when it comes down to the crunch... adversity or a

cakewalk.

The University of Alberta Pandas volleyball team has faced both those situations on their way to the CIAU championships. Adversity when conference MVP Mirka Pribylova tore her anterior | cruciate ligament, before the CWUAA finals, in the last game of the regular season. comes Thursday in the Pandas first game at the

The cakewalk

“Ever since Mirka’s injury [teams] have been writing us off. They feel we aren’t a team without Mirka. They need to see that we’re an amazing group. A team isn’t made up of

just one player.”

— the Pandas Andrea Oh on the competition’s response to the loss of the Pandas Mirka Pribylova, Canada

West MVP

CIAU championships when they go up against

eighth ranked Saint Mary’s.

“It helps being first ... if you’re higher ranked it’s supposed to be easier,” said the Pandas Andrea

Oh.

Life doesn’t get much better than this. Oh wait,

in the Pandas world it does.

Volleyball teams around Canada were seen attempting to jump off the nearest bridge when they learned their hopes of salvaging some dignity

said Oh.

a torn ACL?

that title.

determination?

Well, it’s both and also, maybe, the Pandas just want to glide over the competition. Maybe, they want to make themselves look like the supreme team in the CIAU. Not that they don’t already hold

adversity [and it] was an accomplishment for us,”

The news sounds like sweet music for Alberta fans. MIRKA IS BACK!!! How can she play with Is it the grit?

Is it the sheer

What: volleyball When: Thurs, Fri, Sat Where: U of A Main Gym Who: Alberta, UBC, Laval, Manitoba, Saskatchewan, York, McGill, St. Mary’s

Final: Sat, Mar. 8 @ 5:30 p.m.

said Oh.

at the CIAU nationals faced extinction. The news

that conference MVP Mirka Pribylova is making a

comeback is that devastating.

“Having Mirka back is always a good omen.

We're very glad that she’s back. This is a really

important time for us.

Brandice Shostak

There are times as a sports reporter when you are accused of being a cheerleader, no more than a team booster. In response, you try desperately to be unbiased, never letting any emotion show, even during the closest of games, the most heartbreaking of situations.

But, sometimes you just can’t hide it. Sometimes your humanity breaks through the detached journalistic facade you’ve created

We made it through

The Pandas can power the ball past UBC as proven by this photo and the Pandas might have to do that again in the finals.

David Chan

never ends.

“Ever since Mirka’s injury [teams] have been writing us off. They feel we aren’t a team without Mirka. They need to see that we’re an amazing group. A team isn’t made up of just one player,”

Pribylova is probably one of the most respected women in the CIAU. Replacing her last week was Christy Torgerson who showed she can . compete just as well.

Either way the situation is assessed and the Pandas come out on top. They have the conference MVP starting and they still have Torgerson, the setter for Canada’s National B team. Not to mention Shandra Doran, Christy Halat, Danielle Stewart, Andrea Oh, and all the others. The list

Life doesn’t get much better than this.

Reporters only human

and you find yourself struggling to hold back the tears.

One look at the faces of the Golden Bears basketball team after Sunday’s loss said so much more than any quote they could have given me.

I felt horrible as I headed down to the locker room. I wanted to give them all the space and time they needed for mourning, but my job demanded I get the initial reaction.

As I descended the stairs to the locker room I passed one of the veterans who was sitting on the steps, a towel covering his head and his face in his hands. I didn’t

know what to do or say, after all, what could I possibly say that would take away the pain of losing, the pain of having your dreams crushed?

The closer I got to the locker room the more difficult it was to deny to myself that I, too, was grieving the end of the season.

I pride myself on my professionalism, my ability to stay impartial regardless of how hard it may be. But, when one of the players so graciously came out to answer my questions, my heart lurched.

He stood before me, all 6’3” of

him, eyes red and puffy from crying. His voice broke as he expressed his anguish and absolute devastation at the loss. The pain was visible on his face, in his voice, and even in his posture as he stood with his head down, his massive shoulders slumped.

I found I was biting my lip and averting my eyes as I attempted to keep my voice even and my eyes dry.

After spending numerous hours talking with the players, watching them practice and play, I was no longer the impartial professional I had spent two years

trying to become.

I have spent the last two seasons, not only writing game summaries, but getting to know the players. I can identify them by the back of their heads from across Quad. I know who is suffering from pre-game nerves by their facial expressions and mannerisms during the warm-up. I have asked a lot of questions, but I have also

— “Only human” continued on

page 21

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 21

Meddling in mind games

Bears face Huskies in final after emotional semi

by Wade Tymchak

I happen to think everything is a mind game, on some level.

My theory seems to have been proven right by the University of Alberta Golden Bears hockey team.

The Bears host the University of Saskatchewan Huskies at Clare Drake Arena this weekend in the CWUAA best-of-three final and the biggest hurdle the Bears need to conquer is overconfidence.

“We have to make sure that we don’t look beyond Saskatchewan and make sure we don’t look back to Calgary, we have to focus exactly on the task at hand and that’s the Huskies,” said Bears head coach Rob Daum.

“TIt’s] a new series, new team and we basically got to forget

about what happened last weekend,” added Bears captain Troy Hjertaas.

Last weekend the Bears swept the first-place team in Canada West, the University of Calgary. Just such a victory has been a few years coming and for the past few years Calgary has been the Bears biggest stumbling block.

After such an intense and emotional series between, not only, the teams with the two best records in Canada West, but also two Calgary and Edmonton teams, a team might be physically and emotionally drained and unable to remain focused. However, the Bears have no doubts they can

Mighty Mouse would be proud

by Wade Tymchak If they were mice, they’d be

mighty. The University of Alberta wrestling team sent five

wrestlers, two men and three women, to the CIAU championships in Hamilton last weekend and despite their small numbers managed to fair quite well.

On the men’s side Paul Nunes, at 61 kg, and Ron Odagaki, at 52 kg, both finished sixth. Both wrestlers suffered

answer the bell.

“T don’t think that there’s that pure hatred and pure rivalry that’s against Calgary, but I think there’s 25 guys on this team who are intelligent enough to figure out that we win last weekend and blow this weekend it doesn’t mean a whole lot. The raw emotion won’t be there, but the intensity definitely will be,” said Bears forward Cam Danyluk. “This is what every hockey player plays for, those hockey games in September and October finally mean something. We're going into the Canada West final, that’s something that just breeds excitement and intensity in itself.”

“Last series was so emotional and so intense that it had all the elements of a final series and we have to make sure that we realize that it wasn’t a final series,” added Daum.

“Tf we need someone else to keep us focused then we shouldn’t be playing hockey,” added Hjertaas.

Bears head coach Rob Daum seems to realize the importance of remaining focused and that’s one of the things he’Il be concentrating on in preparation for this series. Daum’s innovative approach to trying to keep the Bears focused will be to turn this home weekend into an away weekend, at least off the ice.

“We're going to try and havea

from difficult draws and as a result turned in less than satisfying results, but fine performances.

“Both actually wrestled quite strong, although came up short in a couple of matches which [were] ‘you win this one you're in the final, you lose this one you're wrestling for fifth-sixth’,” said U of A head coach Vang Ioannides. “Obviously I’m disappointed because I think they’re capable, on any given day, of beating just about anybody in their weight classes.”

On the opposite side of the gender spectrum Julie Harris, at 51 kg, captured a bronze medal after losing her first match. Tammy Pierson, at 65 kg, finished with a 2-2 record and a

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pre-game skate on Friday morning, we're going to go out for a pre- game meal asa team ... Friday and Saturday, which we normally don’t do at home,” said Daum. “One of the things about playing at home in the playoffs is there’s distractions ... and we want to try and eliminate those factors as much as possible. Once we come to the rink we want it to be home, but everything else we want the distractions to be limited.”

As far as on the ice goes, the Huskies are not a team to be taken lightly. Saskatchewan defeated the Bears early in the season and have had close games with the Bears all year, however their road record is a mortal 6-6-2. Maybe the best way to describe the danger the Huskies pose is with this statement: the Huskies are the poor man’s Calgary.

“They got a lot of the same elements. [Brian] Purdy,[Todd] Johnson, who do you choose? [Jason] Becker,[Evan] Marble, who do you _ choose? [Jeff] Calvert,[Mark] Dawkins, who do you choose? They’re top end is probably as good [as Calgary],” said Daum. “They’re very similar in a lot of ways they just haven’t had the same amount of success as Calgary.”

Saskatchewan and Calgary may be similar, but hopefully not too similar or it’ll bea long weekend for the Bears.

fifth place finish while Sandra Bandura mirrored Pierson’s results in the 57 kg class.

“All three placed, actually wrestled very well,” said Ioannides.

In team competition the three U of A women’s wrestlers put forth a valiant effort, but eventually fell short. Tammy Pierson was placed in a match against a Queen’s wrestler to decide the fate of the team and, unfortunately, came up short resulting in a sixth place finish for the team.

“She wins that one then we win the tournament for the girls, instead we finish sixth and Queen’s won the tournament,” said Ioannides. “As a matter of fact there were 12 teams in the

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Wayne Moriarty at the Gateway today at 4:00 p.m. in room 0-10 SUB.

competition and the top six ... there were only four points difference between them.”

Maybe next year the U of A can send a few extra bodies to nationals and save themselves the trouble of leaving all the work to a select few.

Sports Volunteers: BE THERE. Also be at the Sports Meeting Friday @ 3:00 p.m. in room 0-10 of

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Page 22. Thursday, March 6, 1997 gateway

Jaroslaw Malanowsk:

The Pandas will take their sparkling record and talent on the road to the CWUAA final against Victoria, they'll also be taking rookie

sensation Cathy Butlin (#5).

Success hides success

Pandas Cinderella season travels to Victoria for final

by Jon Jarvis

The University of Alberta sports fans are a little spoiled.

With the winningest hockey team ever, two men’s basketball championships in the last three years and a women’s volleyball team that is about to win its third national title in a row, winning is not so much appreciated at this

Pandas are a very good team has still managed to go unnoticed. For the record, the Pandas are in Victoria this weekend to play the perennial champions, — the University of Victoria Vikes, and they have a great shot at winning.

“We've got the confidence to go there and win,” said the Pandas Jackie Simon, “I think we’re coming

Koop, who averaged 22.3 points per game.

The Pandas however, know that Koop is the Vikes meal ticket, but aren’t too impressed with the rest of the Vikes lineup.

“We know that Koop is going to get her 20 some odd points,” said Simon, “we just have to take care of the rest of the team.”

“Having won there gives us great confidence. I mean it’s not like we’re going into a place

where we’ve lost four in a row.”

— Pandas post Lisa Stubbs on the Pandas justification for optimism heading into Victoria

university as it’s expected.

This makes for a few success stories that simply fall through the cracks of a the average sports fan’s attention span. An example of this would be the Pandas basketball team.

While a mere two years ago they were one of the laughing stocks of Canada West, now they find themselves two wins away from being crowned champions.

Usually this kind of ‘worst to first’ type of story is the stuff dreams are made of for sports fans and writers alike.

After all, everybody likes to get behind the team that never wins.

However, the fact that the

to a peak and gelling at the right time.”

The Pandas confidence is a product of last weekend’s shelacking of the University of Calgary and the fact that they have already beaten the University of Victoria twice this year.

“Having won there gives us great confidence,” said Pandas post Lisa Stubbs, “I mean it’s not like we're going into a place where we've lost four in a row.”

“Trix always told us that nobody wins in Victoria,” added Simon, “and then we went out and did it.”

The Vikes are once again led by Canada West's leading scorer Lisa

Track team heads to “exotic” Windsor

by Rose Yewchuk

The University of Alberta track team is sending 14 finely- tuned athletes to exotic Windsor, Ontario to compete in the CIAU championships this weekend.

U of A head coach Marek Glowacki was optimistic about the team’s chances, particularly the nine members of the women’s team.

“We have a very strong distance group. If everything goes well, we should go a couple places to the front,” said Glowacki, who expects the Pandas to place in the top five.

Although the men’s team is only sending five athletes, Glowacki feels that they will perform strongly.

“I do believe we have a

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chance to win three medals there,” said Glowacki. “We should be in the top six teams at nationals if we do score 3 medals.”

Glowacki pointed out that one athlete is likely to bring home a gold medal for the U of AG

“Kevin Olson is number one in the 1000 meter in the country after the whole season and is heading to nationals to defend that title,” said Glowacki. Olson is also ranked third in the 1500 meter.

300 meter runner and track rookie Sintra Lewis stands a good chance to win a medal.

“She’s ranked second in the country,” noted Glowacki.

Hurdler John Kistankas is ranked third in the 60 meter

medal at the national championships. He took first place at the Canada West championships two weeks ago.

The women’s relay teams are also likely to perform well.

“All three relays qualified for nationals,” said Glowacki.

Rosemary Ball, Joanne Johnston, Jennifer Koelbl, and Pam Posein are representing the U of Ain the 4 x 800 meter relay.

“I believe they may win,” said Glowacki.

Glowacki said that the performance of the 4 x 400 meter relay team will depend on Lewis who has been recovering from leg problems since a recent track meet in Winnipeg.

“If she’s in top form like she was in Winnipeg, that relay should also place in the top

“We can go down twelve players on our bench when they only have maybe three or four,” added Stubbs, “the rest of the bench we don’t even know their names.”

The Pandas depth will once again be the key to their success as their deep bench allows them to run with anybody.

“We stand a good chance because we can run them,” said Stubbs.

“They have one tall post who’s not very agile and we use our whole bench,” added Simon. “If there is a year to do it, this is the year.”

for CIAUs

The 4 x 200 meter relay team is also expected to place in the top six with Sintra Lewis, Kyla Smith, Dori Warkentin, and Jodi Forster-Molstad representing the U of A.

Glowacki noted that Forster- Molstad is also competing individually in the pole vault.

“She’s number six in the country and should do quite well in the pole vault,” said Glowacki.

Fourth-year track athlete Jennifer Koelbl is currently ranked sixth in the 3000 meter run. Glowacki was positive about her chances, describing the race as a “tough field” in which “anything can happen.”

The men’s 4 x 800 meter relay team, consisting of Olson, Sean Forbes, Michael Markowski and Todd Pawlenchuk, is currently

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ranked fourth in the country.

“TWe’re] looking forward to that relay,” said Glowacki. “The boys are ready to fight for the top place.”

Glowacki said that there are several young athletes on the team. Lewis, Warkentin, and Smith are all rookies. Posein and 4 x 400 meter relay runner Charlotte Lidberg are in their second years and Ball is competing for the third year. The track team leaves for Windsor early on Thursday morning. The two-day meet will start on Friday at noon and continue until Saturday afternoon. The team will return to Edmonton on Sunday evening.

hurdles and is likely to win a_ three,” said Glowacki.

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We have 22 million trees to plant - which translates into 50-55 working days. Tree planting is not for everyone. If you think you have what it takes to succeed, to make a difficult job work to your financial advantage then...

' Attend our Information Seminar on

2. March 10/1997 a CaPS Classroom - 4th Floor SUB

on campus. Also, visit our web site at:

PAIN atS

http://www.tic.ab.ca/tsuga

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997 Page 23

Stats, etc...

‘aa,

7 UBC—91,Victoria—82 Y Hockey 4 ‘Women’s Volleybal VaRee

Lethbridge—71,Alberta—64 CWUAA Playoff Results Schedule Victoria—90, UBC—83 @ EG 0 West Division Final CIAU Finals @ Alberta CWUAA Playoff Schedule sno ES Feb..28: Round 1(Mar.6): i yo Ss 200; York(6) vs Laval(3) Final — o5 ee ee “ieGill(7) vs UBC) Mar. 7: ane vs Manitoba(4) _ Lethbridge @ Victoria N Mar. 8: Lethbridge @ Victoria =) °)) Mar. 9: @)) NE NE (If Necessary) = “oO “a Lethbridge @ Victoria é $ 8 $ 8 0 6 é ‘Women’s Basketbal} o CWUAA Playoff Results Lt a8 a ~ Hy Semi-Finals U a - § Feb. 28: 4 z ices = 5 Alberta—77,Calgary—61 , ¢ 2 eee ri < : = Victoria—55,UBC—47 Cie p | al cf a 5 see le Mee ee 2 # seed 2 He 0 9 ok eg pete Pee po te 8, $ @: tf Br cd paca) Oh te A eda ete teed | ens » “ §$ Z 5 q g § : Z | u q G A Pts. $ ¢ E Frank Esposito({UA) 4 5 9 /f) w % Trevor Sherban(UA)3 5 8 Zz Mike Jickling(UA)2 6 8 Mike Thompson(UA)2 4 6 Russ Hewson(UA)4 1 5 Paul Strand(UA) 2 3 5 ne nf Jamie Barnes(UA)1 4 5 9 %o Dean Tiltgen(UA)4 0 4 Qe oa RyanSmith(UM) 3 1 4 Scott Lindsay(UA)2 2 4 CIAU Rankings > 1)Alberta(2) 7 of : 2)Acadia(4) g¥ Per 3)UQTR(1) O89 Seg 4)Guelph(5) for iS 5)New Brunswick(6) M. sou 6)Saskatchewan(7) CIAU championships @ Windsor 7)Calgary(3) Feb. 28: 8)Western Ontario(NR) Alberta—88,Lethbrid ge—71 9)York(NR) Victoria—79, UBC—65 | 10)McGill(NR) Mar. 1:

Lethbridge—95,Alberta—75

Office of the Registrar and

vy | Continuing Students Seo AWhGe University of Alberta It’s Time to Pick up Your 1997/98 Calendar!

Registration materials for continuing students for Winter Session 1997/98 will be available for pickup at your current Faculty Office on the dates noted below. In addition to your 1997/98 University Calendar and Registration Procedures Book you will receive a ‘permission to register letter’ which states the day on which you are eligible to use the Telephone Registration System. In order to take advantage of your first opportunity to register, you must obtain your registration materials during the scheduled distribution times.

Please contact your Faculty Office after March 10.

The timetable which confirms your registration must be claimed in September at the times noted in the Registration Procedures Book. Timetables which are not claimed will be cancelled.

Remember to keep your Calendar and Registration Procedures Book throughout the year—you can refer to them if you need to change courses or if you need deadline or degree requirement information.

¢ ¢ ¢ Wy w % Vv = | “= am Please note that you should pick up your materials at your current Faculty even if you are changing Faculties or programs for next Winter Session. + ‘“ Abd Agriculture, Forestry and Home Economics Graduate Studies and Research 3 z 2-10 Agriculture-Forestry Centre March 11-13 Graduate students should contact their Departments commencing By March 10. 93 ae a A | ea 6-7 Humanities Centre March 10-21 Native Studies 4 11023-90 Avenue, School of Native Studies March 11-28 & z Business = 2-20 Business Building March 10-28 Nursing ea O PaucsGon 3-109 Clinical Sciences Building March 13-21 te 122 Education Building—South March 10-14 Open Studies & Eni ; Student Access Centre ") " NEIBCETING Main Floor, Administration Building March 10-27 Current Year 1 and 2 Qualifying Students : : : & 5-1 Mechanical Engineering Building March 11-27 Physical Education and Recreation & P-421 Van Vliet Physical Education and > a Current Year 2 and 3 Students Recreation Centre March 10-14 2) Ss ee ee Engineering Buildin March 11-27 Rehabilitation Medicine ten i 8 8 6 3-50 Student Records Office, Corbett Hall March 13-April 4 Civil, and Mining and Petroleum : : a2 $ 220 Civil-Electrical Engineering Building March 11-27 Faculté Saint-Jean hes Electrical and Computer eaeste rue duty mars a mn 238 Civil-Electrical Engineering Building March 11-27 Science .e) <q Mechanical Foyer (east entrance), Biological Sciences Building | March 12-14 4-9 Mechanical Engi ing Buildi March 11-27 : ~< a. echanical Engineering Building arc OihokFaccltes s ¥

The 1997/98 Calendar and Course Timetable are available on the WEB in late April at http:/ /www.registrar.ualberta.ca/calendar/Calendarhome.html

STUDENTS’ UNION

3 z

TERMS OF OFFICE: 1 May 1997 to 30 April 1998 (unless otherwise noted) APPLICATION DEADLINE: Friday, 14 March 1997, 5:00 p.m. NO EXCEPTIONS. SUBMIT COMPLETE PACKAGE TO 2-900 SUB APPLICATION FORMS: Available at SU Reception Desk 2-900 SUB, and SUB, HUB, CAB Info Booths. POSITIONS SUBJECT TO RATIFICATION OF COUNCIL AND SIGNING OF EMPLOYMENT CONTRACT. Confidentiality respected.

The Students’ Union services are currently under review and the positions could be subject to change.

IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS Please submit only single sided documents ONLY shortlisted and successful applicants will be notified. Please be available for the noted interview time. Applicants should be undergraduate students and have paid full Students' Union fees.

Academic Affairs Coordinator As Academic Affairs Coordinator you will work with and represent the VP Academic on University committees, and serve as the resource person for the Academic Affairs Board, GFC Student Caucus, and student representatives on University committees.

Remuneration: $930/month May-Aug

$815/ month Sept-April For further information contact the VP Academic. Interviews scheduled for Sat., March 22, starting at 11:00 a.m.

Community Relations Coordinator As the Community Relations Coordinator your key duty is to promote and enhance the image of the Students’ Union and the U of A. You will organize and implement community relation events, be responsible for establishing liaisons with groups and individuals from the University community, foster a positive working relationship between the SU and University Administration, and take an active role coordinating events and contacts for tours of campus and high school liaison.

Remuneration: $1007.00/ month (May to August)

$864.00/ month (Sept. to April) For further information contact the VP External. Interviews scheduled for Sat., Mar. 22, starting at 11:00 a.m.

Information Services/Registries Director As the Director of this combined service, you will manage all aspects of this new depart- ment. You will be responsible for recruitment, training and supervision of staff, preparation of an annual budget, and regular operating reports, marketing, and proper functioning of all areas (Info Booths, and Housing, Exam, Tutor, Used book and Typist Registries.) During your term you will enact new development and planning for the service. Remuneration: $1128.00/ month (pending review of position) For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-9785. Interviews scheduled for Sun., March 23 starting at 9:00 a.m.

OmbudService Director As one of two Directors of OmbudService, you possess strong listening skills and are an effective mediator. You are familiar with University and Students' Union grievance and appeal procedures. You will work in representing and advising students on academic appeals, grievances, and complaints they may have against the University or Students' Union. In conjunction with your fellow director, you will prepare an annual budget, and operating reports for the service as well as directing the marketing and promotion of OmbudService.

Remuneration: $1000.00/ month

Term: This position requires a two-year commitment.

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-9785.

Interviews scheduled for Sat., March 22 starting at 9:00 a.m..

Safewalk Director As the Director of Safewalk, you will be responsible for the proper functioning of Safewalk and the fulfillment of its mandate. You will be responsible for supervising an associate director, preparation of an annual budget, regular operating reports, the promotion and marketing of Safewalk, and overall administration. You will also be responsible for the recruitment, training and overall supervision of the volunteers of the service. Remuneration: $1000.00/ month For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-9785. Interviews scheduled for Fri., March 21, starting at 5:00 p.m.

Speaker of Students’ Council As the Speaker of Students’ Council you have experience chairing meetings and a strong working knowledge of Roberts’ Rules of Order. You will chair all meetings of Students’ Council in accordance with Roberts’ Rules of Order and the Standing Orders of Students’ Council.

Remuneration: $75.36/ meeting

For further information contact the President.

Interviews scheduled for Thurs., March 27, starting at 6:00 p.m.

Student Activities Coordinator As Student Activities Coordinator you will be responsible for Students' Union activities and events. Your position will include the recruitment, training, scheduling, and appreciation of Students' Union volunteers. The position works closely with the Vice-President Student Life and Entertainment & Programming Department. Remuneration: $815.00/month For further information contact the VP Student Life. Interviews scheduled for Fri., Mar. 21, starting at 3:00 p.m.

Student Groups Director

As the Director of Students Groups, you provide assistance to the sizable portfolio of. :

student groups on campus. You will carry out the administration of registration and. services to student groups, promote coordination and cooperation between groups, chair the Student Group Committee, and work closely with relevant University of Alberta departments. You will be responsible for supervising and associate director, preparation of an annual budget and regular operating reports, and the planning of student group program events.

Remuneration: $892.00/month

For further information contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-9785.

Interviews scheduled for Wed., March 26, starting at 5:00 p.m.

Student Help Director As the Director of Student Help, you possess strong organizational and leadership skills that allow you to effectively manage all aspects of this peer-counselling student service. You will be responsible for the recruitment, training and supervision of the service's volunteers. You will prepare an annual budget, and operating reports for the service as well as directing the marketing and promotion of Student Help. You will have at least one year of peer- counselling experience in the areas of information/ referral, crisis intervention, and basic communication/counselling skills.

Remuneration: $1200.00/ month

For further information, contact the Manager of Student Services at 492-9785.

Interviews scheduled for Sat., March 22, starting at 1:00 p.m.

University Affairs Coordinator As the University Affairs Coordinator you will work with and represent the VP Student Life at various University committees. Other responsibilities include dealing with non-academic University issues, chairing and attending meetings, coordinating projects, conducting correspondence and other administrative duties.

Remuneration: $930.00/month (May to August)

$815.00/ month (Sept. to April) For further information contact the VP Student Life. Interviews scheduled for Sun., Mar. 23, starting at 1:00 p.m.

STUDENTS' UNION

INVOLVEMENT OPPORTUNITIES.

There is more to the University than textbooks...

TERMS OF OFFICE: 1 May 1997 to 30 April 1998 (unless otherwise noted) APPLICATION DEADLINE: Friday, 14 March 1997, 5:00 p.m. NO EXCEPTIONS. Submit COMPLETE PACKAGE to 2-900 SUB APPLICATION FORMS: Available at SU Reception Desk 2-900 SUB, and SUB, HUB, CAB Info Booths.

Confidentiality respected.

IMPORTANT INSTRUCTIONS

Please submit only single sided documents ONLY shortlisted and successful applicants will be notified. Please be available for the noted interview time. Applicants should be undergraduate students and have paid full Students' Union fees.

STUDENTS’ UNION BOARDS AND COMMITTEES

ACADEMIC AFFAIRS BOARD

-requires 6 student-at-large members

-makes recommendations to Students' Council on academic issues

-assists and advises the Vice-President Academic

-deals with activities relating to student awareness of academic issues

-administers Students' Union Awards

For further information contact the VP Academic

Interviews scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, starting at 5:00 p.m.

ACCESS FUND COMMITTEE

-requires 2 student-at-large members

-deals with eligibility guidelines, setting the number and value, and actual handing out of Students' Union Access Fund bursaries

-will also work on the marketing aspect of the Access Fund

For further information contact the VP Operations + Finance

Interviews scheduled for Fri., Apr. 4, starting at 6:20 p.m.

AWARDS COMMITTEE

-requires 4 student-at-large members

-selects the recipients of the Students' Union Involvement Awards For further information contact the VP Academic

Interviews scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, starting at 8:00 p.m.

CAMPUS RECREATION ENHANCEMENT FUND

COMMITTEE

-requires 2 student-at-large members

-determines the allocation of funds for Campus Recreation programs, facilities, and equipment.

For further information contact The VP Operations + Finance

Interviews scheduled for Fri., Apr. 4, starting at 5:00 p.m.

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF SELECTION COMMITTEE

-requires 2 student-at-large members

-interviews and selects the Gateway Editor-In-Chief for the 1998- 99 term

For further information contact the VP Student Life

Interviews scheduled for Thurs.., Apr. 10, starting at 9:20 p.m.

EUGENE L. BRODY FUNDING COMMITTEE

-requires S student-at-large members

-determines Students' Union financial donations to-various charitable or relief projects.

For further information contact the VP External

Interviews scheduled for Fri., Apr. 4, starting at 5:00 p.m.

EXTERNAL AFFAIRS BOARD

-requires 6 student-at-large members

-creates and coordinates projects on campus concerning various issues of interest and concern

-makes recommendations to Students' Council on political issues

For further information contact the VP External

Interviews scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, starting at 5:00 p.m.

FINANCIAL AFFAIRS BOARD

-requires 4 student-at-large members

-sets guidelines for the SU preliminary budget

-prepares the SU final budget for Students' Council

-considers financial matters which relate to the SU

For further information contact the VP Operations + Finance Interviews scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, starting at 5:00 p.m.

GATEWAY ADVISORY COMMITTEE

-requires 3 student-at-large members

-hears grievances against "The Gateway" and recommends appropriate action

-meets and discusses the Editor-in-Chief's monthly reports and passes on the appropriate sections to Students' Council

-makes recommendations regarding the Student Newspaper Bylaw, and ensures Editors and News staff are obeying the same

For further information contact the VP Student Life

Interviews scheduled for Thurs., Apr. 10, starting at 7:40 p.m.

GOLDEN BEAR AND PANDA LEGACY FUND

COMMITTEE

-requires 2 student-at-large members

-determines the allocation of the funds to varsity teams and student groups on the basis of need

For further information contact the VP Operations + Finance

Interviews scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, starting at 7:20 p.m.

INTERNAL REVIEW BOARD

-requires 2 student-at-large members 3 -continually reviews existing bylaws and operating policies -monitors the operations of the Students' Union

-directs and recommends action in form of bylaws or policies For further information contact the President

Interviews scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, starting at 5:00 p.m.

PROGRAMMING COMMITTEE

-requires 5 student-at-large members

-makes recommendations regarding SU entertainment events and programs

-provides reports to Students' Council regarding SU events & activities.

For further information contact the VP Student Life

Interviews scheduled for Wed., Apr. 9, starting at 8:00 p.m.

STUDENT GROUPS COMMITTEE

-requires 5 student-at-large members

-considers grants for financial assistance from SU student groups

-selects student groups to receive work for the SU-sponsored events and Dinwoodie Lounge

-advises the Director of Student Groups on all matters concerning clubs registered to the Students’ Union

For more information, contact the Student Groups Director at

492-9789

Interviews scheduled for Thurs.., Apr. 10, starting at 5:00 p.m.

STUDENT LIFE BOARD

-requires 6 student-at-large members

-makes recommendations and raises awareness of non-academic University issues

-monitors and provides direction to HARC, Programming and WOW Planning Committee

For more information, contact the VP Student Life

Interviews scheduled for Wed., Apr. 9, starting at 5:00 p.m.

STANDING COMMITTEES OF THE UNIVERSITY PRESIDENT AND VICE PRESIDENTS

COMMITTEE ON OCCUPATIONAL HEALTH & SAFETY & ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES

-requires 1 undergraduate student

-to recommend policy and serve as the focal point for consideration of policy issues to the University community

-to receive reports from the Committee of Bio-Safety and Radiation Control, admin. units, and committees with related issues and programs

Meets: At the call of the Chair

SECURITY ADVISORY COMMITTEE

-requires 1 undergraduate student

-to provide a forum for the review and formulation of security policy and to ensure it's legality and consistency of application

Meets: At the call of the Chair

For further information on Standing Committees contact the VP Academic. Interviews to be scheduled for Tues., Apr. 1, evening

UNIVERSITY OF ALBERTA SENATE

-requires 3 undergraduate students

-the Senate's responsibility is to inquire into any matter that may enhance the image of the University and act as a link between the University and the public. The Senate may also authorize the conferring of Honorary Degrees.

Meets: Five times yearly

For further information contact the VP External

Interviews scheduled for Fri., Apr. 4 starting at 7:40 p.m.

Term: 1 June 1997 to 31 May 1998

Interested in sitting on a GFC Standing Committee? Contact the University secretariat 492-4965.

Space Moose

Litterbox

Deathworld

Tyler and his Spleen

comics

Managing Editor: Jill Dixon 492-5178

EVERYONE, THIS (5S SPACE MOOSE. HE WILL BE OUR ATTACK

OKAY. WE'RE FIRST GOING TO PRACTISE A BASIC THROW.

EEE-YAU!

——|

YOU IDIOT! You’RE THE ATTACK DUMMY! YOU DON'T FIGHT BACK!

HEART. HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK | AM?

NICE TRY, SWEET-

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FALL RIGHT! my sock PUPPET OF THE ) MONTH , MY MAIL ORDER LIGHT SAGER, MY DAVID BOWIE BOND AND MY COLUMG\A , HOUSE VISEOS ALL CAME?

WHAT OID YOU GET , MOIRA?

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—

SO... YOU'RE LEAVING THEN...

gateway Thursday, March 6, 1997

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How's IT GOING?/ GREAT! OKAY, WHAT \ WANK.

MONOY CALL A WHITE GUY SURROUNDED BY WINS? Woe

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my ane Fitst thing youll Find on the 7 constitution? rl || HAW. HAW..- HAW.

Panelled Heat

: 4

classifieds

Advertising: Sandra Horrigan 492-4241

WANTED

Wanted: Levi Lover’s. Experienced Levi's $9.95 and up. Corner of Fort Rd. and 66 St. Phone: 413-9296.

TRAVEL- TEACH ENGLISH. The Canadian Global TESOL Training Insti- tute offers in Edmonton a 1 wk (Ap. 25- 29) eve/ weekend intensive course to cer- tify you as a Teacher of English (TESOL). 1,000’s of overseas jobs avail NOW. Free info pack (403) 438-5704.

TEACH CONVERSATIONAL ENGLISH year round, short term or for summer in Japan, Korea, Thailand, Sin- gapore, Taiwan, China or Hong Kong. Excellent pay. No experience or qualifi- cations needed. For 1997 details on liv- ing/working conditions and how you can apply see us at _ http:// asiafacts.kingston.net Or pick up our free brochure at the HUB, SUB, CAB & Edu- cation Information Desks OR send a self- addressed, stamped envelope to Asia Facts (US), P.O. Box 93, Kingston, ON K7L 4V6.

The Partners Program matches chil- dren on a one-to-one basis,. with caring adult volunteers. Together they deter- mine activities (biking, toutoring, mov- ies.), and experience fun and freindship. Interested in being an adult partner. Please contact Rhonda at the Boys’ & Girls Clubs (422-8038).

Cinemark Movies 12. Entry Level Management Position. Progress with company please apply with resume to 5074 - 130 Avenue.

Gain managing experience + great earning power. Due West Student Paint- ing is now accepting applications 1-800- 585-8666

Looking for instructional experi- ence, one-to-one or with small groups? The Edmonton YMCA Enterprise Cen- tre has volunteer opportunities for indi- viduals as Workshop Leaders, Instruc- tional Aides, or Tutors in stay-in-school and tutoring programs for youth. 22 hours of training is provided. We ask a 6 month commitment of 2-3 hours a week. Daytime volunteers (Eve/ wkd available too). Call 429-1991, ask for Jim.

Professional market research firm is seeking part-time telephone surveyors. Excellent research experience for stu- dents interested in business and social sciences. No sales involved. Hours con- gruent with students’ schedules. Starting wage is $7.00/hr. with regular wage in- creases. Office located downtown on L.R.T. route. Please call 944-1169 or mail resume to: Suite 1483, T.D. Tower, Ed- monton Centre, Edmonton, Ab. T5J 2Z1.

FOR RENT

Beautiful New House 1800 sq. ft., 145st/95ave f. furnished, cable (1-46), locking rooms, $225 - 310 everything Sheila 454-6898 /482-5219 On Parle Francais!

LE MERCHAND TOWER 2060 soft. deluxe 2-3 bdrm condo apartment. Jacuzzi tub, double under parking, 15 floor view,. REDUCES $40, 000. Imme- diate trade of home possible. Ron Morritt, SUTTON RE 459-8211, 458-9399.

Female looking for female room- mate to find 2-bedroom apartment with near the University for May 1, 1997. Phone 431-0334.

Room for rent near U of A Hospital.

Furnished or unfurnished. $180 per month. Phone 454-6260 Margarine.

FOR SALE

Sales Clerk Positions Available. Sea- sonal employment in Jasper AB. Posi- tions available for April Ist and Mid to Late May. Fax or send resume to Pine Cones & Pussy Willows, Box 1407, Jas- per AB TOE 1E0 Fax 403-852-5321. No phone inquires please.

Mewburn Veterans Arts + Crafts sale and Coffee Party. Saturday March 15, 1997, 9:30 a.m - 5:00 p.m.. Mewburn Arts + Crafts Room 11440 University Ave.

Student St. Albert/Edmonton tran- sit bus passes for sale. March and April. Call 459-2867 after 5:00 p.m.

SERVICES

Computer Trouble? Don’t put up with it! Will do hardware and software optimization and repairs for computers running MS-DOS, Windows 3.X and Windows95. Tune-Ups also available. Will publish your Internet web pages and/or set you up with an Internet ac- count with free webspace. Discount prices. Call fellow student David at 460- 4472 for info.

“What is ECKANKAR? Ancient Wisdom for Today”, Learn techniques to look within. Discover how to develop a direct personal experience with the Light & Sound of God(Holy Spirit). ECKANKAR Introductory Presentation, Wed Mar. 19, 7:30 - 9 p.m. Edmonton ECKANKAR Center, 210 10110 82 Ave. Phone 431-0739.

CAMPUS ADVENT: Join us in bible study and Christian Fellowship Thurs- day from 6:00 - 7:00 p.m. Interfaith Chapel, HUB Mall (ground level, just below A&W) For info, contact camadv@gpu.srv.ualberta.ca or http:// www.ualberta.ca/~camadv

WORD PROCESSING AND MORE. Resumes, Term Papers (MLA, APA, etc.), Graphs, Presentations. Over the phone Service, Reasonable Rates, Fax Available. Nicki 463-3688.

GET BETTER MARKS! English teacher, 20 years experience, will copyedit your papers for spelling, punc- tuation, grammar, sentence structure, etc. Up to 7 pages - $10. Each extra $1. 467- 3757.

TUTORING for students of engi- neering or physics. Call 439-1045.

Tutoring for University exams and essays. Call Campus Tutors at Solomon Learning Institute #307 Campus Tower. 431-1515 after hours 917-0216.

WORD WORKS: Word processing (A.P.A. specialist), grammatical proof- reading, editing. Experienced writer near campus. Call Nathan after 12:00 (noon): 433-0741.

Word Processing - fast, accurate & reliable. Laser printing. 1 1/2 blocks off campus. $1.50/dbl-spaced page, $2..50/ sngl-spaced page. Wilf 432-0430.

PERSONALS

**EDM’S COOLEST PARTY LINE** DIAL: 44-PARTY. Ads * Jokes * Stories * & More. 18+ **** FREE CALL!!!*#** 24 hrs. Women Free * Men From .10$/ Min.!!!

LOST & FOUND

Lost: Gold pinkie ring, sentimental value. Lost in Business Bldg. Reward of- fered. Call Marianna 492-5652 or 457- 2350

Found: A pair of glasses, brown case. Found in computer lab in Tory. If you can identifu them, they’ re yours 459- 4866, Kim

three lines free

Silhouette #

& Shadow

SST

Happy Birthday Dave. Love from all of us in the Aardvark Hotel: Baggie, C-Monster, & The Shadow

2 the fucker who horked my ext. cord from 87Ave; Ram it up your monkey ass, you hemroid infested bumhacker.

GBH— Way to kick Calgary's ass. We rock, they suck. —A couple of girls in the crowd

Shier LRT guy: Hi? U still have nice eyes- never did get a chance 2 C U smile =) Will there B?... Shy girl

To the carrot-eating Branflake: Happy 19". You're the only one special enough to get a TLF! Love ya, Red & Blondie

Scottie: You can forget about me showing up in lingere, it looks like Lisa beat me to it already!! Nice. little D.

Piglet: Black queen boinks white knight! Now that's what I call chess! Can't tell you how much I mss you. Peach

Lewy's party is soon- Jenn better wear lay- ers and Watson better wear cleats.

Brown haired guy w/ pony tail: Black Saas turbo, roof rack -"D" plates. Can we meet?- curious onlooker.

Mommy, can you help me open my milk?

Happy 21st Senger. Hope it's special. Love LAP.

It's gonna be a good night boys- I just had a NO WIPER! -the fella

To the brown guy who looks EXACTLY like David Duchovny, R U 4 real? - Curious :)

Didem, salut! Merci pour vos réponses. J'aime mieux quand vous n'etes plus une fant6éme du passé... Marc

Nemois a stinky poo-head. :) —The Shadow To my watch"man", sounds pretty good for a start... your watch"girl"

To the hypnotic female in red @ PHarM TGIF: Do you gyrate like that when lucid? Didn't get a good chance to talk to you. —The Victimized

Hey, there space cats! Get in those various editor-position resumés. Either that, or don't. See if I care. Oh, yeah.

DL you impotent rodent, Hope nobody votes for you.

Hey! Have you ever thought about working for the Gateway? If so, get in your portfolios to 010 Sus before 5p.m. Monday, March 10th. We need all sorts of editors, from Sports to News, Photo to

Circulation, Managing to Production. If you think you ‘have what it

takes, then go for it!

SJC you are the cherry filling in my pie. JM.

KIRSTEN I'm getting to know your answer: ing machine far too well... sunshine to you here or in B.C. — Sarah

Happy Birthday KIM GRANT! Love fron the Brownvale/Berwyn/ Grimshaw girls. Wade’s ass.

To the cute blonde in Hus, you rock Wade's ass.

James, I'm sorry I didn't swallow; this is all still very new to me -Call me later- Sven Jenny McCarthy put your panties back on, and stop looking like a slut.

DK's suck the sweat off a dead mans balls and then they brag about it to their friend.

FS-Ahhcteedah man... canI get some! NOD 4-ever. GoF

Blonde beauty- Blue YJ. I miss your smile & laughter. People make mistakes. Doesn't everyone get a second chance? -B.D.

Billy C., Is it the Prozac that makes you il- literate, or the fact that you failed grade one? P.Leia

Cute brunette in MaTH 113 ESB 1* semester ‘95. Single? Interested? Fast FWD

BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION A

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@ Earn your degree on the weekend in 18 months

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@ Accepting applications for April classes

INFORMATION EXCHANGE

Saturday, March 15, 1997 Saturday, April 19, 1997

9:30 am.

SAIT (Southern Alberta Institute of Technology) 1301 16 Avenue NW Senator Burns Bldg., Penthouse Suite

Leslie, I know you want me- let's give the S.G. girls something to talk about - you tease.

Brandy, So your boyfriend is a golfer. How's the fore play?

Computers 101 Tue, Thur - 8:00am, The girl who used to wear an Irish ring turned in, how come you don't wear it anymore?

Oh, by the way TLFers, much better this time... thanx. —- The Shadow

Ralph Klein is a big, fat, drunken fuck. Don’t waste your vote.

To the blonde crawdad in Pui 103, you are a babe. Come to me. Jungle Monkey.

#16 in your programs, #1 in Wade's heart — Pat La-la-la-la-la-laFontaine!!!

Once T figured it out—that I only wanted you to want me so I could reject you—I started taking my impulses less seriously. Hmmm... time seems to have no meaning here. Neither does the concept of technical knowhow. Viva la Macintosh!

wubba wub? glah...

It’s been a slice, and I think I have the strength to go on. We may even be able to have coffee (or acid) someday.

“I’m going to win this face-off, skate down the ice, score, and then shove my stick right up your ass.”

If you don't have the courage to deal with your petty tantrums directly, don't inflict them on the TLF's. EiC

Through the dark days hence, this will seem like a memory of heaven... —The Shadow

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* bring in this ad & get 10% off regular-priced parts & accessories

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three